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It’s All Your Fault episode 312

Grief Over the Death of a High Conflict Loved One

In this episode of It’s All Your Fault, Bill and Megan provide guidance for coping with the complicated emotions that can arise when a high conflict person passes away. They cover the confusing mix of grief and relief family members often feel, how to handle being blamed after the loss, and the destabilization that can occur when a high conflict adult child loses a parent.

Questions we answer in this episode:

  • How do you handle the blend of grief and relief after the death of a high conflict loved one?
  • What if you were the target of blame by the deceased?
  • Why do high conflict people often lash out more after losing a stabilizing parent?
  • How can probate turn siblings against each other?

Key Takeaways:

  • It’s normal to feel both grief and relief when a high conflict person dies. Don’t judge yourself.
  • Being the target of blame can be depressing. Counseling helps with the loss and disorientation.
  • Loss of a stabilizing parent can really destabilize a high conflict adult child’s other relationships.
  • High conflict people view things in black and white terms. Try to stay above the “teams” forming during probate.

Losing a family member is always difficult, but even more complicated when high conflict is involved. Bill and Megan provide compassionate insight into managing these challenging situations and emotions. They remind us that empathy, perspective and communication are key.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

Further Listening

Each week, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter will be exploring the five types of people who can ruin your life — people with high conflict personalities — and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill Zoom
Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.

Bill Zoom

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.