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The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life

When an HCP also has a personality disorder…

Personality disorder or not, people with a high conflict personality (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving. With HCPs, the pattern of behavior often includes a lot of these four characteristics:

  • Blaming others
  • All-or-nothing thinking
  • Unmanaged emotions
  • Extreme behaviors

HCPs also seem to have personality disorders or some traits of these disorders. This means that they have long-term patterns of:

  • Interpersonal dysfunction
  • Lack of reflection on their own behavior
  • Lack of change

Mental health professionals have identified ten personality disorders. Five of these have a tendency to become HCPs: those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality disorders or traits. This helps us understand why they stay stuck in conflict – namely because of two reasons: they don’t reflect on their part of the problem, and they don’t change. So, the conflict continues or gets worse.

Perhaps you know someone with this pattern. Someone who insists that you – or someone you know – is entirely to blame for a large or small (or non-existent) problem. If so, he or she may be an HCP and you likely have felt targeted by them and unsure what to do.

In this episode, Bill and Megan give an overview of the five types and why the ways we interact with them don’t work, and why you can’t get them to reflect on themselves.

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You can also find these show notes on our website as well.

  • 00:00 – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
  • 01:42 – HCPs In Your Life
  • 02:46 – Four Key Characteristics
  • 05:26 – All or Nothing Thinking
  • 07:47 – Personalities
  • 09:10 – Unmanaged Emotions
  • 10:55 – Giving It Time
  • 12:21 – They Don’t Stop Themselves
  • 14:06 – Look for the Pattern
  • 16:41 – Five Personality Disorder Types
  • 20:45 – Range of HCP?
  • 22:33 – They’re Everywhere
  • 25:31 – HCPs in Court Cases
  • 27:06 – Antisocial
  • 29:42 – Always Check Yourself
  • 31:56 – Where These Types Pop Up
  • 34:37 – When These Overlap
  • 37:07 – Bipolar
  • 40:42 – Wrapping Up
  • 41:52 – Reminders & Coming Next Week: The Narcissistic HCP

Further Listening

Each week, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter will be exploring the five types of people who can ruin your life — people with high conflict personalities — and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill Zoom
Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.

Bill Zoom

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.