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When Grandkids Get Caught in High Conflict
In this episode of It’s All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle questions from grandparents struggling to support grandchildren amidst high conflict co-parents.
Protecting Kids from Raging Co-Parents
First, they advise how grandparents can help shield kids from a raging, unstable parent. Recommendations include teaching emotional regulation, self-checking, and conflict management skills. Stay positive about the high conflict parent.
Co-Parenting with a Difficult Ex Long-Term
Next is guidance for co-parenting long-term with a high conflict, accusatory ex. Bill emphasizes staying calm, balanced, and solution-focused. Praise successes. Accept the limitations on your role as a grandparent.
Getting an Expert Evaluation for Court
Then Bill explains why expert testimony is critical for custody cases with a parent with tendencies like factitious disorder or personality disorders. Experts can explain the need for detailed custody orders.
Minimizing Damage as Kids Grow Up
Finally, they discuss how to minimize damage as kids mature and become more aware of a high conflict parent’s extreme behaviors. Expose kids to reasonable role models and encourage their insights.
Key Takeaways:
- Teach kids emotional regulation and critical thinking
- Stay positive about the high conflict parent
- Get expert testimony for custody cases
- Accept your limited role as a grandparent
- Focus on providing stability
The key is accepting your limited role as a grandparent, focusing on your own behavior, and providing a stabilizing presence for grandchildren. Get support from other grandparents going through similar challenges.
Links & Other Notes
- Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/
- Submit a Question for Bill and Megan
- All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.
- You can also find these show notes at our site as well.
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
Further Listening
Each week, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter will be exploring the five types of people who can ruin your life — people with high conflict personalities — and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.
Megan Hunter, MBA
Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.
Megan Hunter, MBA
Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.