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How Accountability Partners Work

You've heard us talk about the value of accountability partners before, but what does that relationship look like? What do you ask of one another, and what can you expect? All that and more this week on the show!

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You’ve heard us talk about the value of accountability partners before, but what does that relationship look like? What do you ask of one another, and what can you expect?

As you’ll hear, we’re not big fans of the word “accountability.” If you’re turned off by the word, if you find it sounds a dash too much like you’re being punished or investigated, you’re not alone. In fact, maybe that’s what has been keeping you from exploring this valuable practice! We hope you love our spin on it, and that maybe after the show this week, you’ll give it a shot yourself. From finding someone you can trust, someone who can relate to your habits and adjust to your expectations, to finding someone for whom you can contribute equally, this week we’re all about building accountability relationships that work!

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Episode Transcript

Brought to you by The ADHD Podcast Community on Patreon

Pete Wright:
Hello everybody and welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast on TruStoryFM. I’m Pete Wright and look, it’s Nikki Kinzer.

Nikki Kinzer:
Well, hello.

Pete Wright:
Hello.

Nikki Kinzer:
Look at you, Pete Wright.

Pete Wright:
Look at you, Nikki Kinzer. It’s a happy day. Happy day. It’s lovely and I’m wearing my Buckaroo Banzai shirt.

Nikki Kinzer:
Nice, nice.

Pete Wright:
Buckaroo Banzai shirt. Yeah, and we’re talking about accountability today.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. Yeah.

Pete Wright:
Yeah. It’s good. It’s good and it’s something we’ve talked about a lot, just the whole idea of accountability partnership. And what does it mean? You hear us talk about this all the time, this subject. How great it is to have an accountability partner and yet we still, from time to time, get questions that goes something like this, “Yeah, I hear it’s important, but what does it really look like when it’s working?” [crosstalk 00:01:05]

Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. There’s a lot of questions around it, for sure.

Pete Wright:
Yes. And so we’re going to talk about that today. Before we get started head over to takecontroladhd.com. You can get to know us a little bit better. You can listen to the show right there on the website or subscribe to the mailing list and we will send you a new email each time a new episode is released. Connect with us on Twitter or Facebook at Take Control ADHD. And if this show has ever touched you or helped you make a change in your life for the better as a result of listening to something that we’ve talked about, helping you with your ADHD, head over to patrion.com/dadhdpodcast. You can throw us a couple of bucks a month and we will thrive as a result of it, frankly. Patreon is listener supported podcasting. Your contributions help us do this every week.

Pete Wright:
Help us invest increasingly significant amounts of time to the show and to the resources that we’re putting together to help the show and you get access to good stuff like the Discord channel with all of our members only channels. You get access to the show as a live stream on YouTube, and maybe even in Discord one day. So you can access to all kinds of fun stuff and we really, really appreciate it. Again, patrion.com/dadhdpodcast to learn more and a very special thanks to some of our newest members. Freya and Venus and Paula and Hope, and let’s see. Who else is new? That was just this month. Who’s new for last month? Lots of other new people. And I want to say a shout out to Luke, Jen and Lynn and Heather and Brie and Kat and Marla and Krista. Look at all these people.

Nikki Kinzer:
I know.

Pete Wright:
Who’ve jumped into the show.

Nikki Kinzer:
Isn’t that fabulous?

Pete Wright:
It’s just been fantastic, yes. Shoshana and Mark and Justin and Kat and Arne Bjarne and Laura and Anna. They just keep coming. Thank you all so much for jumping on board and helping us to continue to thrive and do this show. We could not do it without you. All right, Nikki. Let’s get accountable.

Nikki Kinzer:
Well, I want to set up the April shows because I came up with this really creative topic name.

Pete Wright:
Oh, do tell. Yes.

Nikki Kinzer:
Category name.

Pete Wright:
All right.

Nikki Kinzer:
In April, we’re going to talk about Productivity Stuff. Do you like it?

Pete Wright:
Did you hire a new crack team of marketing monkeys to help you come up with that? There’s a crack team?

Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. You like that? Productivity Stuff.

Pete Wright:
I do, very much.

Nikki Kinzer:
Because I was going around in reality because I’m thinking, “Okay, well today we’re going to talk about accountability. And then in the next couple of weeks we’re going to talk about planning and we’ve got a guest coming up who’s going to be talking with you about technology.” And it was such a wide variety, but it’s all kind of still has to do with productivity that I was just like, “It’s Productivity Stuff.”

Pete Wright:
It is.

Nikki Kinzer:
So there you go.

Pete Wright:
It’s better than goo. Productivity goo.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, stuff. So yes.

Pete Wright:
Oh dear.

Nikki Kinzer:
But today we’re going to talk about how accountability partners work. But I got to tell you, I don’t love the word accountability. I’m not a big fan. And so for my own purpose-

Pete Wright:
Why?

Nikki Kinzer:
I’ll tell you in a minute, but for my own purpose, when we’re talking today, I am going to be referring the accountability partner as an AC partner because I like that better.

Pete Wright:
Okay. Okay. The AC partner. All right.

Nikki Kinzer:
The AC partner. Well, what do you think about the word accountability when you think about it? When you hear it?

Pete Wright:
Well, I don’t know. It is a word that has… I guess it’s a little bit divisive because it conjures this, I don’t know, maybe a manufactured sort of allegiance or if you’re a parent, that word gets tossed around. I think, related to maybe discipline and punishment or something, and you need to be held accountable for your actions and that kind of feels gross. It’s like the ADHD, our sense of the use of it has been appropriated.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. It is. It has been. I agree. If that’s a word.

Pete Wright:
Well, it is a word, but the issue is maybe it is not… This is a watershed moment. Maybe it’s not accountability buddy, but a Productivity Partner. A PP.

Nikki Kinzer:
PP. Productivity Partner.

Pete Wright:
The glee on your face when you just said PP is maybe a bridge too far, but a productivity partner may be what we’re actually talking.

Nikki Kinzer:
Okay. We’re going to trademark that. So you heard it here.

Pete Wright:
That’s right.

Nikki Kinzer:
And that we’re trade-marking it. So, Productivity Partner. Okay everybody, you heard it here on Take Control.

Pete Wright:
Productivity Partner.

Nikki Kinzer:
I’m going to put a little TM on there.

Pete Wright:
Do you have a PP?

Nikki Kinzer:
Trademark PP.

Pete Wright:
Do you have a PP?

Nikki Kinzer:
Do you have a PP?

Pete Wright:
And in Discord now we can have PP sessions.

Nikki Kinzer:
Okay. This is not going where I had expected it to go.

Pete Wright:
This is great. This is exactly where I was hoping it would go. Nailed it.

Nikki Kinzer:
Okay. Moving on.

Pete Wright:
Your Productivity Partner. So keep going. Why you don’t like accountability.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. And it’s actually a lot of what you were saying. Because all I hear is my mom saying, “You need to be held accountable young lady.”

Pete Wright:
[inaudible 00:07:12] listen to this show because I want to make sure she hears your impression of her.

Nikki Kinzer:
I know. And I don’t know if she’s ever actually said that to me, but that is how I sense that or feel that word just like you were saying. It’s like you have to be held accountable for your actions. And it does have this kind of this negative piece to it, and it’s also one of those things that if you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing, you are going to get in trouble and you have failed. You just have failed.

Nikki Kinzer:
So that’s something that is kind of messy about it. But what I think is so fascinating about this word is one of the benefits of my coaching sessions, of working with me as a coach is accountability and check-ins and text messages and finding out how things are going throughout the week. So for the time that you’re working with me as a coach or, and I’m sure other people who work with other coaches, you see them as your accountability partner. And so it’s kind of a confusing message. Is this a good thing or is it a bad thing? And like you said, I think in our work we’ve made it to be a positive thing.

Pete Wright:
Yeah. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
It’s a productivity thing, which is good.

Pete Wright:
Right.

Nikki Kinzer:
You’re going to say a joke and I know you are because I can tell.

Pete Wright:
No. I just want you to know I’m always spinning. Is it a partner or a pal? Maybe it’s a Productivity Pal.

Nikki Kinzer:
Maybe. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s a Productivity Pal.

Pete Wright:
So let’s talk unravel a little bit about what the benefits are to having a Productivity Pal.

Nikki Kinzer:
Well, and there is a lot of things here that we have to really unravel because it is confusing. Is unravel a word?

Pete Wright:
Yes. That’s also a word.

Nikki Kinzer:
Because when I was doing this outline last week, I was trying to figure out if that was really a word, and I knew you would know if that was a word.

Pete Wright:
Oh, it’s definitely, yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
Unwrapped.

Pete Wright:
Unequivocally, it’s a word.

Nikki Kinzer:
Do you like unwrap or unravel better?

Pete Wright:
Oh, I like unravel. I think unravel insinuates the complexity of the issue.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. And that’s what this is.

Pete Wright:
Many layers.

Nikki Kinzer:
Many layers.

Pete Wright:
Many strands to follow. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yes. So let me just kind of paint a picture here. So at the end of a coaching session, when you’re working with me, my clients will have something that they want to focus on for the week. So it’s something that they want to work on and it’s different for everyone. And the client and I have worked through what they want or what their focus is and they’ve committed to it. And one of the things I’ll ask is how can I best support you this week? What kind of accountability do you need? And I can tell you that most of my clients will come to coaching wanting some kind of accountability because there’s this belief that they really can’t do things on their own even though they can. But they feel like they need that little push, which actually accountability can be really positive. When you are working on something new, you’re trying to get into the habit of something, it can be a really, as we know, very supportive. It provides you that extra support, reminders, motivation, whatever it may be. But I’ve also had clients, Pete who fear accountability and-

Pete Wright:
Probably for the same reasons you fear your mother.

Nikki Kinzer:
Well, yes. And they don’t know how to use that part of the service. They really don’t have any idea what that means or how that can work for them, and it makes them anxious. And I’ve had people tell me that when you check in, it makes my anxiety go high.

Pete Wright:
Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
And they don’t know how to answer. And especially because of my questions are too broad, just like, “Oh, how’s your day going?” I had one girl recently just asked me, “Do you want me to really tell you how my day is going or do you want me just to tell you, ‘it’s fine’?” So it’s like, “How much detail do you actually say?” And so again, it’s just really messy.

Pete Wright:
And one of the things we know is that these sort of accountability relationships don’t work if they’re not authentic. If you start lying to yourself and or others, it’s not going to be effective.

Nikki Kinzer:
Well, that’s exactly right. And that’s why, and we’ll talk a little bit more about this, but it’s so important that you trust whoever it is that you are working with.

Pete Wright:
Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
Because it is a fine balance between having that support and feeling supported versus feeling judged and, “I have failed and I don’t want to tell you because I have failed.” So having the conversation upfront about what accountability means to you really becomes a very big part of it working. So whether you’re working with a coach or you’re working with somebody else, you want to make sure that you talk about what it is that you really need from each other because it is going to be different and it could change too. So as you go along in a project and you want some check-ins, it’s probably going to look different from the beginning of something you’re working on versus the middle and then also versus the end. So we want to keep communication open and keep having those conversations.

Nikki Kinzer:
So really, I just want people to think about, “Well, where would I use an accountability partner?” I’ve talked about this with exercise and health, where I had an accountability. My trainer was my accountability partner. And it was really helpful because I never knew when he was going to text me and I didn’t want to have to tell him I just had Chinese food for dinner or for lunch or whatever. So it made me think before I ate something like, “Okay, well, if he checks in with me, I would really rather say I had this chicken salad and what do I want to do here?” So it is important to kind of think about what is my purpose? Am I looking to start a new routine? What does this look like for me? What do I need them to ask? What do I need to check in with them? Whatever. So-

Pete Wright:
What’s interesting about that is that you… Did you ever see any of the old Pink Panther movies?

Nikki Kinzer:
No.

Pete Wright:
Oh, Nikki. All right. So inspector Clouseau always had… he had, then it was a man servant. He drove him around, he carried him around. It was like a chauffeur kind of Butler type guy, but he also was martial arts master. And they had in their relationship, whenever Clouseau would come home to his apartment, his trustee Butler would attack him and surprise him with Kung Fu. And they would have these extraordinary fight sequences in the apartment and it was to keep his skills sharp, right?

Nikki Kinzer:
Right.

Pete Wright:
And I always think of that relationship when it comes to accountability partnership or productivity pals. For some people you may need that act of surprise kind of in the back of your head to keep you moving forward as motivation and to other people, it may genuinely feel like you’re being attacked.

Nikki Kinzer:
Exactly. Yeah. That’s exactly right. And that’s why we have to know which one you fall into and which one you need, because you’re going to have a different kind of partnership. And the other thing that I think is really important that we understand and it’s hard explain, is that when you have an accountability or what did we call, Productivity Pal?

Pete Wright:
Productivity Pal.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yes.

Pete Wright:
This is the best that we’ve done in a long time.

Nikki Kinzer:
Productivity Pal. It’s not just about getting the task done because that’s where we really fall into a trap.

Pete Wright:
Oh, yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
If the only thing I’m doing is saying, “Pete, how did your morning routine go today? Did you do it?” “No, I didn’t do it.” “Oh, Pete, you must feel really bad about that.”

Pete Wright:
[crosstalk 00:15:21] Just in shame.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah, right. So it has to be more than just about what the end result is. And I am going to talk more about this in just a second, but I want to bring that up. I want to plant that seed. That it’s more than just about getting the task done. But what I do want us to talk a little bit more right now is what to look for in accountability partner, because you can’t lie to them. Just like you said earlier, it’s not going to do you any good to lie them. So you need to find somebody who you’re really going to trust and somebody that you can be honest with. You don’t want somebody to be like a drill Sergeant.

Pete Wright:
Right.

Nikki Kinzer:
But you also want to make sure that somebody is comfortable enough to say, “Hey, what’s going on here? What’s getting in the way of you getting this done? Is it not a priority anymore? Did you switch focus?” You also have to have somebody be willing to question what’s going on.

Pete Wright:
Yeah. And I think that that’s a really important point because the best productivity relationships that I’ve ever had, the act of actually checking off the box that is done is a very small part of that relationship.

Nikki Kinzer:
It really is.

Pete Wright:
So much of that relationship is about, “What does it take to keep you in a provocative enough mindset that you continue to move, that you continue to move forward?” Whether you finish the thing today or tomorrow, or when you’d originally agreed to get it done, matters less than you are moving that’s productivity. The act of movement is so important and somebody who’s going to be your pal in this process is going to understand that. That it’s not just checking in to make sure you’ve done a thing, but to help you and develop a relationship over time to understand why and how you do the things you do.

Nikki Kinzer:
That’s exactly it. It’s looking for those patterns and trying to help them with those things that come up for them. And I think it’s also important to say, “I’ve had a bad day. I had these things come up that I wasn’t expecting, and I’m going to let it all go. I’m going to let the to-do list go. And I’m going to start again tomorrow.” That is totally fine. Again, it’s not about checking the box. It’s just about the journey that you’re going through and the systems you’re trying to build.

Nikki Kinzer:
So it is really important, I think, to find somebody that you can talk to and it’s also important that you’re not doing it for them. And that’s tricky too, because I find that with my clients as well. It’s a very fine line where I want to do this because I know you’re going to be asking, but they shouldn’t be doing it for me. They need to be doing it for themselves. Because honestly, for me, it doesn’t… I mean, it matters to me what they do or don’t do, but the end result doesn’t matter to me. Does that make sense? If you didn’t do it, that’s not going to bother me any more than if you did do it or any less. It doesn’t bother me. That’s not my role is to figure out…

Pete Wright:
That’s a really important thing. You just said something that I think makes even more sense to me now, which is another reason accountability doesn’t work. You are not accountable to me.

Nikki Kinzer:
Exactly, exactly.

Pete Wright:
You are not account… I’m not your boss. I’m not the person who pays you or needs this done for a particular project. We’re accountability partners, we’re productivity partners, because we both exist in the space to move our individual things forward. You don’t need to answer to me for anything. And a great productivity relationship is not about answering to that person.

Nikki Kinzer:
Exactly. That’s exactly it. And it’s not about us, it is about you. It’s about the person who’s growing and going through this journey. So absolutely. The other thing I would say about accountability or just productivity pals, don’t be afraid to fail. There is a client, in fact, he was on our show. Marcos was on our show earlier. He was one of the listeners that talked about his story and we were talking about something and he’s in the robotics field. So there’s a lot of trial and error. And he said, “I’m not afraid to fail.” And I just was like, “Wow, that is such a great thing to say and such a great thing to believe.” And to look at failure as a positive, because now he knows what doesn’t work. I can learn from it and I’m going to keep looking and being curious about what works.

Pete Wright:
Right. Right. Well, and that’s super important. And I think particularly in science and engineering fields or mathematics, failure is simply a state. There’s no emotion to it. Something either passes a particular gate or it fails to pass a particular gate. And that just means that you’ve learned something new.

Nikki Kinzer:
Right.

Pete Wright:
We have reconditioned the word failure to personalize it. To give it emotional weight when we do something bad and I think you can learn a lot from how a scientist approaches a failed state.

Nikki Kinzer:
Absolutely.

Pete Wright:
Because there’s no emotion to it. It’s just a data point.

Nikki Kinzer:
You just keep moving on.

Pete Wright:
Right.

Nikki Kinzer:
You just keep going. Just in summary, I think being a really good partner or pal, we want to encourage each other to be very curious about what’s going on and just no judgment. And if you’re not working as a trained coach, that’s okay. Just be sure you have an open and honest conversation with the person that is partnering with you because it’s just, it’s going to be better for everyone if you’re clear with what feels good to you. There are some things though, some concrete things that I want to talk about on how to set yourself up for success. You ready for that?

Pete Wright:
I am. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
And it’s around that communication. I can’t emphasize it enough. Set up a meeting to go over what you need. And if you’re going to be an, I said AC partner, but partner pal. Productivity-

Pete Wright:
Productivity Pal.

Nikki Kinzer:
Partner Pal.

Pete Wright:
Productivity Partner Pal. It’s a PPP.

Nikki Kinzer:
It’s a PPP. To them, what do they need so that it can be reciprocated? However they want it to be.

Pete Wright:
Yeah. In terms of, can we just talk, just I don’t want to hijack this, but I just want to talk a little bit about what makes a great… I guess we are talking about that. What makes a great Productivity Partner? And the one thing I would add is sometimes if you’re not working with a coach, sometimes people think, “Oh, I’ll just have my friend do it.” Sometimes your friends aren’t the best people to be your Productivity Pals.

Nikki Kinzer:
Right. In fact I would say, well, and husbands and wives and partners are usually not the best accountability partners either.

Pete Wright:
Oh, for crying out loud, let’s not. Not spouses.

Nikki Kinzer:
Right, right. So I think that is a good point of how do you choose and how do you know it’s going to be effective? And I would say the first place to go, if you’re in a community like ours with Patreon or you’re in another ADHD community, hookup with another ADHD-er, because that can be really helpful because you guys get each other. You don’t have to explain anything. You’ll be able to say, “Well, I need you to check in with me every day for the next five days.” Okay, great. Just set a reminder to do it.

Pete Wright:
What I like about that is you’ve just said something really important. That your Productivity Pal doesn’t have to be years long relationship.

Nikki Kinzer:
No.

Pete Wright:
It can be, “Hey, I just need to match up with somebody for this week. Can somebody take on the commitment of helping me Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so that I get through this project.”

Nikki Kinzer:
This project, right. Right. So definitely, I think, find people that you connect with. Coworkers can be good if you’re not afraid of them being judgy. So you have to be careful that they’re not judging you, but yeah. I mean, I think you just have to find somebody that you trust and that you can be honest about your ADHD because you need to talk about your ADHD because it’s going to come up. I mean, it is going to be part of getting things done, whether you’re having a hard time getting started or whatever it might be. So I would talk to somebody that you can be open about that with them as well. But definitely set up that meeting.

Nikki Kinzer:
And then I would also say when you’re setting the expectations, do you want to meet with them weekly? Do you want to check in daily? Is it better to do that text or email? What do you want me to say? Do you want me to ask about something very specific? What is that? Just don’t guess. Don’t guess, just ask. So originally when we were going to do this show, we had a couple of people in mind that had a partnership that they did. And unfortunately they’re not doing that partnership anymore and I don’t know why, and I’m not… It doesn’t matter.

Pete Wright:
It was just ironic timing.

Nikki Kinzer:
It was ironic timing and it is okay to switch up your PPs.

Pete Wright:
Yes, switch your PPs.

Nikki Kinzer:
It’s okay to do that. So if you need to, it’s okay. But this is the thing, this is what they did from what I was told. Is they would text each other in the morning and they would say, “These are the top three things I’m working on today.” And then in the evening they would share their results. And I have actually seen students do this with other students. They’ll have a little study group or whatever, and they’ll have a group chat and they’ll do that with them too. So it can be… It’s very open on how you can do this, but it’s just that little check-in. “This is what I’m doing. It’s in the universe. This person knows and this is how it ended up.” Body double sessions, study halls. These are accountability sessions because even though it’s not the same kind of ongoing relationship, having a body double helps you get things done. So it falls into the productivity partner for sure.

Pete Wright:
Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
So if you can body double with someone, focus mate. Man, Pete, I wish we had invented that.

Pete Wright:
Yeah, I know.

Nikki Kinzer:
I really wish I had invented that. You and I had put our brains together and say, “Hey, let’s do this because it’s such a smart idea.” But if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go check out their website. It’s called focusmate.com. And you actually can set an appointment with someone else. They do all the matchmaking and you can have an hour focus session and you say hi to the person and you tell them what you’re working on and they work on it and you’re body doubles. So it works really nicely. You can do that in our Discord.

Pete Wright:
I think it’s free, right? Too?

Nikki Kinzer:
I think it’s free-

Pete Wright:
I think it’s also free?

Nikki Kinzer:
For so many sessions and then I think you have to pay for.

Pete Wright:
Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
And then, I mean, Discord. We’re trying to do something like that with our Patreon members too. Having the accountability channel open for people to say, “Hey, come work with me.” So-

Pete Wright:
Which, note, we need to change the name of that channel.

Nikki Kinzer:
We we do. We need to call it Productivity Pals.

Pete Wright:
Yeah, we do.

Nikki Kinzer:
We totally need to do that. But that can also be something that can be really helpful and it can be something that you do with your Productivity Pal. Is they can check in with you during the week, but you can also body double with them and get things done too. So that’s how that works. Benefits, oh benefits. There are so many great benefits when you have a partnership like this with someone, because first of all, you’re not alone. You’re not alone. You can tell this person the good, the bad and the ugly. You can share your successes. I love hearing successes from my clients. In fact, I will often ask them to tell me what they are because they don’t recognize them enough. So seeing that being supported when you are challenged, and again, if you’re working with another ADHD-er it’s just nice to know they understand and they get you. But it also builds confidence because when you have this kind of system set up, you are getting things done.

Nikki Kinzer:
And you’re probably doing things in a way that maybe you haven’t done before, or you’re really getting out of the comfort zone. You’re getting more done than maybe you would have if you were by yourself and that builds confidence. You can see what you can do and that feels good. And the results, I mean, I think it builds confidence and you get those results, big and small because you’re constantly moving the needle. Even if it means, “I’m shutting down today and I’m going to rest and I’m going to start again tomorrow.” To me that is moving the needle because you’re recognizing what you need and you’re not pushing yourself to do something that you don’t want to do, can’t do and really won’t do anyway. And so don’t feel bad about it, right?

Pete Wright:
Right, right. Well, and the act of… It’s like, “How do we learn?” We teach. The act of talking about the things that we’re doing. Even if your productivity partner has no idea what it is that you do or what you need to do, the act of talking about it helps to build that inertia for you. It’ll help you center your brain on the things that you actually need to do to keep you moving forward because there will always be that thing that you just talked about. That you were just thinking about in order to recontextualize it for your Productivity Partner. That’s an important use.

Nikki Kinzer:
A couple of things, a couple more things I should say. Getting started when you’re having a Productivity Pal and you are having a really hard time getting started on something, just texting them and saying, “Hey, I’m going to do this in five minutes. I’m going to text you in a half hour.” That can make a big difference on just getting you started on something. So we want to build that momentum and again, having that support. The last thing I want to say is that there is so much you can learn about yourself when you have this kind of partnership, because things don’t go as planned, we know that. And things are harder than sometimes we expect them or they take longer than what we expect them to. We get distracted.

Nikki Kinzer:
So you’re able to really learn more about yourself and reflect on really what did get in the way. What really did happen here? And that’s where the gold is. That’s where you really can figure out, “What do I need to do here? What do I need to change? What do I need to tweak? What do I need to delegate?” Because now you’re really learning more about yourself than what you would have if you were just trying to push through it. And you learn about your ADHD. And so what I’m hoping for people who are listening to this, is that they can go into the spiral of acceptance instead of shame.

Pete Wright:
Oh, look at you. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer:
Right?

Pete Wright:
Yeah. I like it. I like it a lot.

Nikki Kinzer:
Yeah. Yeah. It’s good stuff.

Pete Wright:
It’s good stuff. Well, this is as always, I think these episodes were kind of re-contextualizing a term are important and I hope you are able to get something out of this and hope you’re able to find a way to find and use a Productivity Partner to help you get things done and feel better about the things that you are doing. We sure appreciate you downloading and listening to this show. We appreciate your time and your attention. If you want to talk about it, head over to the show talk channel and our discord server. You can join us right there by becoming a supporting member at the deluxe level. On behalf of Nikki Kinzer, I’m Pete Wright. We’ll see you right back here next week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.

Through Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright strive to help listeners with support, life management strategies, and time and technology tips, dedicated to anyone looking to take control of their lives in the face ADHD.