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It’s a Wrap! Season 22 Review

It’s the end of the road ... for this season. And to celebrate we’re taking a walk down memory lane for the shows that made the most impact on us, the guests that gave of their time to our community, and of course: Shocktato.

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It’s the end of the road … for this season. And to celebrate we’re taking a walk down memory lane for the shows that made the most impact on us, the guests that gave of their time to our community, and of course: Shocktato.

Links & Notes

  • The Original Shocktato Incident. Let me just say this about that: I think my Shocktato is somehow damaged. There is no way a toy like this should be overclocked like it is. It made my back sweat… and back sweat is never child’s play.

Episode Transcript

Brought to you by The ADHD Podcast Community on Patreon

Pete Wright: Hello, everybody, and welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast on TruStory FM. I’m Pete Wright, and right over there is Nikki Kinzer.

Nikki Kinzer: Hello, everyone. Hello, Pete Wright.

Pete Wright: Hi, Nikki Kinzer.

Nikki Kinzer: Speaking of which, before we go on, I needed to watch something funny this weekend, and so-

Pete Wright: What’d you do?

Nikki Kinzer: … I watched Parks and Rec.

Pete Wright: Of course you did.

Nikki Kinzer: And I’m starting it from when Rob Lowe comes-

Pete Wright: As you do.

Nikki Kinzer: … because Rob Lowe is really happy.

Pete Wright: Yes. So happy.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. So it totally made my afternoon, because I got to see him in action in his comedy best.

Pete Wright: Oh, he’s so great. He’s so great.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes. [crosstalk 00:00:45].

Pete Wright: So funny. So athletic, always running.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, he’s running fast, too.

Pete Wright: Always. Yeah. Do you watch Schitt’s Creek?

Nikki Kinzer: I started to, and then I stopped. It is one of those things that I want to look at again, because I know it’s supposed to be just hilarious.

Pete Wright: Well, we are like you. We started and then stopped, and then everybody says-

Nikki Kinzer: Tells you to do it.

Pete Wright: … "Please stop stopping, and start watching immediately. Binge it. It’s easy." And we’re now about through season two, and I get it. I get it. It’s delightful. It’s delightful, and I have fallen in love with all these characters. It starts, and they’re so superficial that you’re like, "I’m never going to fall in love with these people," but you do.

Nikki Kinzer: You do.

Pete Wright: I’m sorry, you just do. I just love them. I love them.

Nikki Kinzer: That’s so nice.

Pete Wright: They learn such valuable lessons, and they’re great. So that’s one I’m a big fan of. Hey, also, it’s our season ending, and clearly we’re ready to talk about TV.

Nikki Kinzer: I guess so. I don’t know what that says, but…

Pete Wright: I know. And I mentioned Schitt’s Creek, and I’m sure the comments are going to blow up with people who are like, "You’re only getting to it now?" I know. I know. But hey, that’s where we are. And maybe I’ll finish it in July because we’re taking a little time off. Before we talk about the details, though, head over to TakeControlADHD.com. Get to know us a little bit better. You can listen to the show right there on the website or subscribe to the mailing list, and we will send you an email each time a new episode is released.

Pete Wright: You can find us on Twitter or Facebook @TakeControlADHD. And if this show has ever touched you, if you’ve ever made a change in your life with ADHD, that has helped you, we encourage you to head over to Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast, where you can support us for a few bucks a month. You can actually join the team here, join the community, get access to some super secret channels in our online Discord community, get the podcast a week early in most cases, and get early access to that and join us for live streams as we record. You could be watching the show live. And in fact, as we do our year in review, some of these comments came in related directly to the live stream experience that we will be [inaudible 00:02:55] sharing a little bit.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, boy.

Pete Wright: It’s very exciting. And so again, Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast. Okay.

Nikki Kinzer: So I have to ask, because there is a particular live stream moment that everybody loves, is there any way to put that moment… Can you capture that video?

Pete Wright: I can capture the video. I can go back and find that.

Nikki Kinzer: Do you want to put yourself out there?

Pete Wright: It doesn’t work as well on the audio, but I can put a link to it in the show notes. I can do that.

Nikki Kinzer: That’s what I would do, is I would say, let’s put the link in the show notes. So anybody that is a fan of Pete Wright and wants to see him get scared, they need to press this link, or if you ever just need a good laugh.

Pete Wright: Oh my goodness.

Nikki Kinzer: We’re going to put you out there, Pete.

Pete Wright: Oh my goodness.

Nikki Kinzer: We’ll talk about it soon, but it was one of my most favorite moments for sure.

Pete Wright: This is the end of our first season, since we started talking about seasons.

Nikki Kinzer: Is it? Okay, that’s what I thought, because what I was thinking, this is a review like no other, because it’s the first one we’ve ever done.

Pete Wright: Right. Right.

Nikki Kinzer: That’s what I was thinking. But yeah, so tell people about what these seasons are.

Pete Wright: Well, what are the seasons? So what we decided to do, because the podcasting tools change over time. And before, just having a long-running show with a different episode every single week was the norm. And then a couple of years ago, Apple Podcasts started including support for seasons, and now a lot of the tools really lean towards seasons. They want to see the seasons. It’s organized by season. You get episode numbering by season. So some of this was driven by technology.

Pete Wright: And when I started thinking about the technology, I went to Nikki and I was like, "You know, we might be able to rethink the narrative of the podcast if we break up these into smaller chunks." Hey, if we do, we take a natural break in July, we take another shorter, natural break in December. Why don’t we make those our seasons? Not like a 12 episode Netflix season, but roughly 24, 25 episodes, and do two seasons a year with our breaks in between them. And Nikki said, "Yeah, let’s do that."

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. Okay.

Pete Wright: So we did. That was the transition. And so as a result, we end up with a significant sort of rejiggering of our shows. And once we broke them up into seasons, this season we’re wrapping up is season 22, which is kind of exciting.

Nikki Kinzer: Wow.

Pete Wright: it’s a bigger number. It feels nice, season 22.

Nikki Kinzer: We’ve been around for a while.

Pete Wright: We’ve been around for a while. And so all of our episode numbering going forward was changed. We’re going to start out with season 23 in August. It’s going to be very, very exciting. Also, the old numbering puts us coming up this season on episode 500, our 500th podcast episode-

Nikki Kinzer: Wow.

Pete Wright: … which is very exciting. And that number is now kind of buried in the fact that we’ve moved to seasons, but I am keeping track-

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, good.

Pete Wright: … of those numbers, because I am curious what is going to be episode 500. That seems kind of momentous doesn’t it, to you?

Nikki Kinzer: It really does.

Pete Wright: 500.

Nikki Kinzer: Wow. All right. We’re going to have to think about that. Listeners, give us your feedback.

Pete Wright: Yeah. So that’ll be in season 23 at some point, I think. I think. We’ll have to game out those numbers and see.

Nikki Kinzer: I think we’re very close. I do think we’re very close.

Pete Wright: We’re very close. Yeah. Well, I know for example… It might be. We’ll hit episode… Yeah. So episode one of season 23 will be show number 486.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, wow. Okay.

Pete Wright: So we’re knocking on the door, knocking on the door.

Nikki Kinzer: Wow.

Pete Wright: So that’s what the season thing is. When you hear us talk about seasons, that’s what happens. Seasons give us a chance to take a break, plan the next batch of episodes to think about changes we might like to make to the show, to how we do things for our members, that sort of thing. It’s just really a built-in break to be conscientious podcasters.

Nikki Kinzer: This is our first review, then. This is our first-

Pete Wright: Yeah, we’re doing a little review.

Nikki Kinzer: … end of the season review. Yeah. So the way that we have organized the materials, I have some thoughts and Pete has some thoughts. And then we also got some feedback from some of our Patreon members, and Pete and I also have the list of shows in front of us, too. So who knows what might grab our attention? This is the thing, though, Pete. this was an interesting year for sure, because of COVID. If you look at this last season, it’s from August 2020 to now. Right?

Pete Wright: Actually, that’s two seasons, because we take the break in December.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh.

Pete Wright: So this season actually is only from January.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh. So I went even farther back.

Pete Wright: You did.

Nikki Kinzer: I did.

Pete Wright: Yeah, I did too. I did too.

Nikki Kinzer: Okay.

Pete Wright: So don’t worry about it, but just so you know.

Nikki Kinzer: See, we don’t really know what we’re doing yet.

Pete Wright: We don’t know what we’re doing. It’s all very new, very new.

Nikki Kinzer: It’s all very new.

Pete Wright: But I actually think your point is a really good one, because the last two seasons have therefore been very strange.

Nikki Kinzer: Well, right, because they’ve all been centered around… Well, our shows haven’t been centered around COVID, but they are in the environment of COVID around us for sure. And a lot of unknowns about COVID, about vaccines. We knew that many businesses were still being closed or open with really strict protocols. I think in January, especially if we look at January, we knew that people were still working from home and students were still online, so we were still kind of going through that process and looking at it that way.

Nikki Kinzer: To now, when we look at what we’re looking ahead in the fall, students are expected to be in class, which is great. Many companies are requiring employees to come back to work, to the office at least for part of the week. So I wouldn’t say by any means that we’re going back to normal, because normal is going to be different. It’s going to be like a pre-COVID [crosstalk 00:09:10]-

Pete Wright: Community by community. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. It’s going to be very different. But I really like where we’re headed, which is good.

Pete Wright: That feels good. That’s an optimistic way to put it.

Nikki Kinzer: Right?

Pete Wright: Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: I really like where we’re headed. And so over the course of our different shows and topics, we’ve had some wonderful guests. Oh my gosh. We have been so lucky to talk to these wonderful people who are not only experts in ADHD, but they’re very kind and very generous with their wisdom, and willing to share what they know. And I know I’ve learned a lot. I think… Well, I know. I’m not even going to say think. I know that every single person that we’ve had on the show, I’ve learned something, come away with some kind of nugget that I’m going to share with my community, with the people that I coach. And we share with Discord and we talk on our whatever, the message boards and all of that. It’s just been so helpful. I don’t know even how to break that down.

Pete Wright: Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: You know what I mean? Because there has just been so many great people, it’s hard to pick and choose. Or do we talk about all of them? But then that’s a lot.

Pete Wright: Yeah, I don’t think so. I mean, I certainly have some highlights of the shows and the guest experiences that really impacted me the most. But that’s not to say that others didn’t, right?

Nikki Kinzer: Right. Right.

Pete Wright: It’s just the ones that I find that hit me at just the right time, those guests who they just hit me in the chest with some of their observations and some of the opportunities. So I just am incredibly grateful that they would lend us their time and expertise on this show, because they certainly don’t have to. they’re certainly busy people in their own right, and they’re really fantastic. And I think it goes back to one that I didn’t even add in my own section because you added it in yours, which was the Living with ADHD series that started with Dr. Clarke. I mean, that was double impactful because it was just our people. It was our people being incredibly vulnerable and in demonstrating how ADHD impacts their lives.

Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely. And such great feedback from the Patreon Discord community from the podcast, all of the listeners saying that was so impactful for them. To actually hear their stories from them, not just us relaying the stories, but them really hearing it from them and how much they related to them. And yeah, very inspiring. I definitely hope and wish, and I’m going to do everything we can to do that again, because I think it was amazing. And I also liked the tips, too. We had a series of podcasts that were just about tips that our listeners found to be helpful. I think that was great.

Pete Wright: That was the ADHD at Work?

Nikki Kinzer: Something like that, yeah.

Pete Wright: Yeah, that came right after that, right?

Nikki Kinzer: Yes.

Pete Wright: The Living with ADHD series. Yeah, absolutely. Anything, I think, that just allowed the community to sort of leverage its own collective wisdom, that’s the thing that really excites me about that series.

Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely. Absolutely. One thing I specifically want to talk about is the next three things that we-

Pete Wright: Marilyn Paul.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes, Marilyn Paul. This was a strategy that I took and I ran with. And so all of my groups that joined me with GPS, they all know what the next three things are. If you’re a client and you’ve ever talked to me about planning and prioritizing, you know what the next three things are. So I thought it was brilliant that she brought this up and how it worked for her. And just to give you, if you don’t remember the episode, it’s basically looking at your list and just choosing the next three things.

Nikki Kinzer: So what you’re doing is you’re taking the focus away from everything that happens to be on your list, but just the next three things that you’re going to be doing. And you can keep reviewing this and updating it or changing it. And sometimes I do it in study hall where I’ll put in the chat my next three things, or I’ll just write my next thing and the next thing, just to keep you focused on what you’re going to be doing next. I loved it. I love it. And it’s definitely something I’m going to continue talking about.

Pete Wright: I think that’s brilliant. I think that’s another one that demonstrates the power of simplification, because it’s so easy to over-complicate what we do.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, absolutely.

Pete Wright: So, so easy. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. One of the shows that meant a lot to me personally was when we talked about inattentive ADHD misdiagnosis with Dr. Michelle Frank. I shared my story with how my daughter got diagnosed and how it was almost missed. And so that was very personal for me to share that experience. And I hope that people listening to it, it will help someone. So if there’s any doubt or they feel like something isn’t quite right and they haven’t gotten the answers that they thought they were going to get, just keep being the advocate for your children, for yourself. That definitely meant a lot to me.

Pete Wright: Yeah. To that angle, the shows that mean a lot to you personally, because I remember that episode so clearly because you came to it with such clarity and urgency, necessity, like, "This is something I have to do." And I have a couple of those episodes in the last season that were like that for me, and scary, because it’s personally terrifying to do these episodes that poke right at my personal experience with ADHD. It’s easy to talk in orbit of ADHD, but as soon as you pull the cover back and realize, oh yeah, no, that is me. I’m looking in a mirror here. Those two episodes, To Our Old Friend, Anxiety was one, because that’s something we both deal with, and Move On, the episode we did on perseveration.

Pete Wright: Those were hard episodes for me to muster in the week prior, because some of these, they show up and Nikki will say to me, "Hey Pete, this one’s going to be a Pete episode. Go ahead and tell me what you want to talk about." And that’s always terrifying in its own right, but we muscle through that.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes.

Pete Wright: This one, for some reason, I felt like, and the Move On episode particularly, I need to talk about this subject. This is important stuff for me personally. And that some people wrote in and said, "Hey, this concept was something that was powerful for me and helped me make more or less lasting change by changing the way I think about my behavior regarding perseveration and RSD and all that kind of stuff." And so that’s really important. And again, demonstrating the power of feedback of the community, people who can come together and take this little seed of something that Pete or Nicki said, and then turn it into something in their lives, has been extraordinarily gratifying to watch.

Nikki Kinzer: Absolutely. I would say one of the things that I loved too, when we were talking… I’m going to actually loop back around with the ADHD strategies that people shared with us. One of the things that I really enjoyed, some of my favorites, were the most simple ones. So it was the whiteboard for capturing ideas and smaller lists. Remember, there was somebody that wrote in saying that they just have whiteboards in their hallway? Great. I mean, you get the idea and you capture it right there in your hallway. Using clipboards instead of binders. Having the chore jar. That is definitely something that I have recommended again.

Pete Wright: Right?

Nikki Kinzer: Yes. Because I think it’s a great idea. Eliminates that choice of which chore to do. You leave it to chance. Right?

Pete Wright: Right.

Nikki Kinzer: And so I love that idea. I also learned this year about the FreakyAlarm. And-

Pete Wright: That is a diabolical tool.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes.

Pete Wright: It is brilliant and diabolical.

Nikki Kinzer: And I even recommended it-

Pete Wright: Do you want to refresh people? What is it?

Nikki Kinzer: Well, I recommended it even today to a client. So I have to admit, I don’t have it. I don’t have the app, and so I’m not exactly sure.

Pete Wright: But you don’t need it. You don’t need it.

Nikki Kinzer: I don’t think so. because I just love the idea, too.

Pete Wright: No. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: I don’t need to necessarily figure it out. But there’s a puzzle, or there’s these different things that when the alarm goes off, it won’t turn off until you’ve solved the puzzle or you’ve scanned it with something. And one of my clients was saying that she puts it in the sink, and then she has to like put this puzzle thing together with… I don’t know if it’s a photo of the sink or something. I’m not exactly sure what it is. But it’s a great way of waking up your brain so that you don’t want to just go back to sleep. Brilliant.

Pete Wright: Brilliant. It’s brilliant. Something that actually causes you to break the cycle of whatever you’re doing and forces you, by annoyance, to actually solve a puzzle to move on to something else. It is a diabolical, context-changing tool, and I think it’s really great.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes. Now, I have to tell you, one of my very, very favorite strategies came from a listener, and it’s not even really a strategy, but it’s a great reminder. This person says, "Remember that you will have bad days, days when the meds don’t seem to work or your usual strategies fail you. Recognize these days when they come and accept them. Forgive yourself and move on. If you know it’s a low function day, there isn’t always something you can do about it. Don’t beat yourself up, because that will achieve nothing. Accept it and plan for a better tomorrow."

Pete Wright: Oh, that’s lovely.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, it still gives me chills.

Pete Wright: That’s really lovely. Yeah. Yeah. That’s wonderful.

Nikki Kinzer: Love that. Great reminder.

Pete Wright: I think another one that stuck out for me is Focus&Will, Will Henshall.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh my gosh. Fanboy over there.

Pete Wright: I got to tell you, that’s a pretty big deal-

Nikki Kinzer: It is.

Pete Wright: … [inaudible 00:19:43]. That was amazing that he-

Nikki Kinzer: After I got off the interview, I went online and looked at the videos, and I’m like, I totally remember that song.

Pete Wright: Yeah. You totally know that song. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes.

Pete Wright: Yeah, you totally know that song. And he’s right. If you go to Lowe’s, you know that song. It’s playing. Yeah. So that was really fun. And I think the tool is really great, too. And we’ve gotten a number of comments from people who really adopted that right afterwards. Joe in the community, Joseph was really funny the way he started talking about it and went straight to the ADHD buzz saw channel and was like, "Yep, this works for me. Got to work." It was just a really terrific…

Pete Wright: I think the other… We had this pair of episodes. One was the Paradox of Change with Dr. Dodge Rea, and then the Trance of Scarcity with Victoria Castle. Those were important episodes, I think, because they deal with the complexity of choice, of the things in our lives that we can choose to… that are actually paradoxes. To free ourselves from something, we have to lean into that thing. And so that was really useful, and both are very kind. It was incredible to meet and be able to do a series of podcasts with Victoria. She’s a delightful person.

Pete Wright: And of course, finally for me, Brittany Smith, my nerd sister, she came on the show. She did a great episode with us. And then our workshop last month was with her, where she taught us using shortcuts and workflows, how to execute Order 66. If you are a dark emperor of the Star Wars universe, then you know what that is all about. So that was really fun.

Nikki Kinzer: I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to get you two connected. That’s crazy.

Pete Wright: I know, it’s ridiculous. It’s just ridiculous.

Nikki Kinzer: You’ll have to remind me, because my memory is terrible. And I don’t know if it was with Dr. Dodge and Victoria castle, but I remember in this year, over time, and maybe it was about our anxiety issues too, or shows, but something that I’ve learned personally is to lean into whatever my feelings are. So not to try to push down, I’m disappointed. Be disappointed, and go through that. And I think it was Dr. Dodge, probably, now that I think about it.

Pete Wright: Yeah. That would be on brand for him.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. Yeah. And that always is something that I think about. If I’m sad, I’m going to allow myself to be sad and not try to pretend like it’s not there. And that has done… I mean, it’s a practice, like anything. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it certainly helps a lot when you’re feeling sad and you just want to be sad.

Pete Wright: Yeah. Right. Yeah. I think so, too. And so that episode in particular I think is worth listening to multiple times, because I think he really captured something that is foreign, and hard to do, and that is super useful.

Nikki Kinzer: I also-

Pete Wright: I have-

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, go ahead.

Pete Wright: Go. Are we going back and forth?

Nikki Kinzer: Well, sure.

Pete Wright: I know.

Nikki Kinzer: I’m just so excited about talking about this.

Pete Wright: I know, I’m excited too. I have one that I have to go back beyond this season for, because I think it actually… I just talked about getting excited about it. It’s the YNAB episodes.

Nikki Kinzer: Oh, yes.

Pete Wright: We did this episode with Chelsea, and then we did In the Money Zone, the Q&A, and those two episodes, I think after Chelsea, the way I think about not just money, and now here it is a year later, I am still thinking about the way she approaches money, the way I now approach time, budgeting time. And so in terms of the longest-lasting impact from episode to today, that has got to be it right now. I still think about lessons in that episode now, a full year later, and we’re still hardcore YNAB users.

Pete Wright: So the monies situation, the budgeting situation is on lock. But I think lessons learned from those episodes have seeped into a lot of the way we talk about, for me, focus and planning your day and planning your week, and all of those things have continued to seep in. And it started and was inspired very much by Chelsea Brennan. That was terrific. It was a metaphor that just really worked for me.

Nikki Kinzer: Well, and it makes so much sense when you think of pay yourself first. When you’re looking at your week, pay yourself first. Make sure you’ve got that self care in and the things that are important to you. Yeah, absolutely. I love that. One of my favorite episodes most recently is around friendship. And I’ll tell you, this is something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, so it was really nice to have Melissa Orlov come and talk about this, because of course she is an expert in marriage and couples and relationships and ADHD.

Nikki Kinzer: But I was really interested in getting her take on friendship too, because that is something that I hear a lot in Discord, but also with my clients, that it’s hard. It’s hard with friends and not always feeling like you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, and letting people down or not letting them down, or just the social cues. That was another one that I thought was always interesting when we had Caroline Maguire on, because she would talk about that in different aspects too, of social cues. And just really interesting, I think, to understand more of how your brain works and why some of these things, why they are difficult, and how they’re connected.

Pete Wright: Well, and then just last week, we followed up with this conversation on friendship, and that became something that at least for the last week, I’ve been really thinking a lot about, especially that Dunbar graph, the bullet or the target, because I think understanding the way… What we’re talking about here is Dunbar wrote this book about the value of friendships, and this chart demonstrates how many friends we can have at each level of intimacy. You can have, weirdly, 1.5 intimates, talking about your romantic partners. Do you want to be the point five? I don’t know. I’ve been thinking a lot about that. I don’t know if I want to be the point five in anybody’s intimates. But anyway, average 1.5.

Nikki Kinzer: That’s hilarious. Well, you got to account for the affair. Is there an affair somewhere happening on either side of the partnership?

Pete Wright: Right. And far be it from me to judge a [throuple 00:26:34].

Nikki Kinzer: Exactly. Right?

Pete Wright: I’m not going to judge your throuples. Yeah. That’s not going to be me.

Nikki Kinzer: They got the average somewhere, somehow.

Pete Wright: Do your thing. Yeah, exactly right. Exactly right. Of course he’s probably counting for separations, divorces, those sorts of things. People move on. I get it, but it sure is fun to think about point fives. But then it, reflecting on this, gives you more permission, I think, to step back and say, "Okay, friendships are hard. But once I do a cataloging of the relationships that are close to me, there’s a reason I don’t have 15 close friends," because Dunbar’s research says the brain is incapable of that.

Pete Wright: So maybe I don’t have five, like he says is the average, but if I have two or three, I’m doing pretty well. We’re okay. We’re okay. Man, that was just a really big lesson for me, that there are friendships that are really important to me, and some of them, I’m incredibly lucky that I get to foster those friendships every single week, like this one with you. You and I have had this friendship for, nay, two decades.

Nikki Kinzer: I know.

Pete Wright: And much of it is because of this show every single week. We get to communicate, and we have our highs and lows. And I don’t need to worry about scheduling lunch with Nikki like I would with some other friends because I podcast with Nikki.

Nikki Kinzer: Right.

Pete Wright: And it’s an amazing joy in my life.

Nikki Kinzer: You don’t need too much of Nikki, so the once a week is good.

Pete Wright: No. Well, there’s a limit. Yeah, there’s a limit. And so, it’s okay. I think it’s okay to just kind of reflect on that. And there are relationships that you need to cultivate and some that are okay to be transient. And that was a big lesson for me from last week. That was big.

Nikki Kinzer: That was a big lesson to me, too. And it was also a lesson to be learned in the sense that the two or three friends that I consider to be really close, on how to foster those friendships, how to continue those friendships, because they are so important to me. And that was definitely something that I walked away from, is how to make that continue, because it is important.

Pete Wright: Yeah, totally.

Nikki Kinzer: All right. So I got to tell everybody to go into the show notes and look at this video of Pete Wright and the Shocktato.

Pete Wright: Always close at hand. Always close at hand.

Nikki Kinzer: I am not going to do it justice, because I don’t even really remember all of it. I just remember… How did it get started? The hot potato?

Pete Wright: No. No.

Nikki Kinzer: We were talking about something with hot potato? I don’t remember.

Pete Wright: Yes. Well, that’s what the Shocktato is. It’s a device that has these metal pads on it that are electrified. And when you turn it on, the whole idea is you throw it back and forth with your friends or people you hate, and then when the music stops, and it plays the music from the movie Psycho-

Nikki Kinzer: Of course.

Pete Wright: And if the music stops, then it shocks you. And there are three levels of… Lame, normal, and extreme. And I had it on extreme, and I was so proud of myself on the show because I was able to… I said, "Look, Nikki, see how I hold it. I hold it with my fingers not on the metal pads, and it won’t shock me," so that I could then play the music. And then I didn’t have my finger-

Nikki Kinzer: And then it didn’t work or something.

Pete Wright: It wasn’t working.

Nikki Kinzer: It wasn’t working, and you’re kind of fiddling with it.

Pete Wright: I thought the battery was dead.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah, you’re kind of looking at it, and you’re like, "Okay. Yeah, the battery’s dead."

Pete Wright: Yeah. The battery wasn’t dead, and it shocked the crap out of me. And I dropped the thing, and I think I screamed a little bit, and it was not-

Nikki Kinzer: And I think you jumped back really far.

Pete Wright: I did. I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the final show, though, so that was only a live stream moment.

Nikki Kinzer: That was a live stream moment.

Pete Wright: I’m pretty sure.

Nikki Kinzer: And this is the thing, is that you definitely have to take that clip and put it out to the audience, because it was awesome. And I cried, I was laughing so hard. And then I told my family about it later, and I was laughing. I couldn’t even get the story out, I was laughing so hard. It was so fun. But this is the thing that I love about this. And I hope people do consider, and this is not a plug, but it’s kind of a plug, is the Patreon community, the live stream can be so much fun. And it really is. We can’t make this stuff up. We cannot make up the Shocktato. That was so on point. It was so funny. So anyway, if you’ve thought about jumping on board, that’s the kind of stuff you might get. You just never know.

Pete Wright: Pete just might get electrocuted live on YouTube.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. It was fantastic.

Pete Wright: We did get some listeners who wrote in and shared their thoughts.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes.

Pete Wright: One of them actually was the Shocktato.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes. I think there’s a couple of them, actually.

Pete Wright: Okay. I don’t know where these specifically came from, and they are all anonymous. So if this is you, then you know that we love you and we’re reading about you. Do you want to do the first one?

Nikki Kinzer: Sure. "Any time Pete nailed articulating the way we ADHD super squirrels often feel or think that can just be really hard to convey to others that don’t quite understand." And I have to say, Pete, I get that a lot. I hear that from my clients a lot, that when people will call for coaching, and they listen to the podcast, that is definitely something I hear over and over again, is how important your stories are to the show and how people resonate with them. And I had even one client say, "I’m a little Pete," which was really cute. I’m like, "Yeah."

Pete Wright: That’s so kind.

Nikki Kinzer: "You’re a little Pete." Yeah.

Pete Wright: Aw.

Nikki Kinzer: It was very sweet.

Pete Wright: I told you about how my uncle used to introduce me, right?

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah, and I can’t remember now.

Pete Wright: My Uncle Glen from Tulsa. He’s my dad’s brother, and my dad’s name is Lloyd, and my name is obviously Peter.

Nikki Kinzer: Peter.

Pete Wright: When I was young, it was Peter. And my Uncle Glen, who had a bit of a lock job problem, would say to people, "Everybody, this is my brother Lloyd, and this is Lloyd’s little Peter." And that’s-

Nikki Kinzer: I do remember you saying that. That is not a good way to introduce.

Pete Wright: I’m not going to lie, it’s a little rough hearing when people say, in relation to me, "I’m a little Pete," because that’s not what I think of.

Nikki Kinzer: Now you think about that, yeah.

Pete Wright: And yet very, very kind.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes.

Pete Wright: I am deeply honored by that. Again, the Move On episode of January 19th is the one that had the most effect on me. I can’t count the number of times I’ve stopped myself and said, "Do I need to have a strong opinion about that?" It has saved me so much wasted time. And then another direct message to me, "I’m honestly sorry for the pain that it caused you to put together the Move On episode. I’m so thankful that you converted it to something useful. If it helps, I can offer how it changed my life. If it doesn’t help, just ignore what follows." RSD much? Bless you.

Pete Wright: "I have mostly given up on social media. I will check in if there is something specific that I want to see, but as a daily practice, gone. I added a follow-up statement. If this is something that I do need to have a strong opinion about, what am I going to do? It shouldn’t be a licensed to perseverate. That led me to telling a toxic person in my life, ‘This hateful thing that you said to me hurt and is unacceptable. I forgive you for it, but I won’t put myself in a position that you can continue to do that without consequences.’ The relationship has changed. The toxic person has taken some care in speech and has limited contact. More importantly, taking that step changed me. I didn’t need to flee that relationship because the terms have changed." I love that.

Nikki Kinzer: Wow.

Pete Wright: I read that, and I was crying. That is huge. That is huge for me. So I’m really thrilled about that.

Nikki Kinzer: Yeah. That’s great. Huge impact.

Pete Wright: Huge. Yeah.

Nikki Kinzer: A lot to learn from that, for sure.

Pete Wright: Yeah. I think so, too.

Nikki Kinzer: Well, and I think other people enjoyed watching Pete meet his music idol-

Pete Wright: Oh, I’m such a nerd.

Nikki Kinzer: … Focus@Will, and agreed. They say, "It was such a fun story about creativity, entrepreneurship, and productivity." And his story specifically, because it was such a nice tie to what he does with the Focus@Will with all of the music and everything. But one thing I do hope that we do more in the next season as well is having more interviews like him and Dr. Clarke, and having these stories that people can listen to and resonate with and see sort of the path that they took to get there. And I think it’s important to see, too, that they still struggle, but they can still thrive. It doesn’t have to be one or the other. And I really enjoyed his interview, not only to see you be fanboy, but it was a great story to hear somebody do something that he’s so passionate about, you know?

Pete Wright: Yeah. Yeah. And that really is it. I mean, that wraps up our season, goodness, 22. Season 22.

Nikki Kinzer: Yes. Pretty exciting.

Pete Wright: Off to season 23. We are taking the month of July off. Our first conversation back after the month is going to be an interview with Michelle Frank. She’s coming back with us. She’ll be with us. The first episode releases August 3rd. Find us… You know where to find us in the show talk channel. You can post your show questions in there, or there are lots of places to do that if you want, or you can email us. If you’re on Patreon, you can reach out to us through Patreon as well.

Pete Wright: Thank you, everybody, for a great season. We sure appreciate you downloading and listening to this show. And we appreciate your time and your attention. If you have something to contribute, head over to the show talk channel in our Discord server, and you can join us right there by becoming a supporting member at the deluxe level. And even though we’re gone for the month of July, we will still be in the community. We’ll be hanging out. I know we’re both taking some time off in July, but probably not at the same time.

Nikki Kinzer: Probably not.

Pete Wright: Yeah, we’ll stagger that, but we will be around. You can still reach us. We’ll still be in the community. We just will be planning shows instead of recording and releasing them. On behalf of Nikki Kinzer, I’m Pete Wright. We’ll see you right back here in August on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast.

Through Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright strive to help listeners with support, life management strategies, and time and technology tips, dedicated to anyone looking to take control of their lives in the face ADHD.