Letters From The Earth, Letter 8: Satan Is The GOAT!
Many men are goats. Others are tortoises. The Bible gives them identical instructions and congratulates the tortoise for doing nothing. Satan, Letter Eight, is not impressed.”
Letters From The Earth, Letter 7: Noah And His Family Get Hooked!
God gets credit when science beats a disease he invented. He’s always just behind, annexing the dividend. The hookworm cure cost a million—God was reaching for his wallet when Rockefeller pushed in.
Letters From The Earth, Letter 6: Waiter! There’s a Fly In My Ark!
On the third day, a fly was found left behind. The Ark turns around. Sixteen days of searching. Satan insists this was no accident—without that fly, no typhoid fever. Ever.
Letters From The Earth, Letter 5: Gotta Catch ‘Em All, Old Testament Style!
The Ark sank from sight just as the monsters arrived—their lamentations joining the children clinging to rocks in the rain, praying to a being who had never answered a prayer.
Letters from the Earth, Letter 4: Noah’s Villain Ark
Twain the riverboat pilot takes Noah’s Ark apart professionally: no rudder, no sails, no compass, no pumps, no anchors. Eleven months at sea. The additional ark was not provided.
Letters From The Earth, Letter 3: Satan Can’t Adam-And-Eve’n!
‘You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity.’ Satan’s flattest and funniest line yet opens a letter that ends with God’s parenting record. Twain is not in a forgiving mood.
Letters from the Earth, Letters 1 & 2: Earth? I Give It…Two Stars
Man invented a heaven and left out sex. Replaced it with harps and twelve-hour prayer. Satan’s dispatches from Earth begin, and Twain saved his sharpest work for last.
DEMON DEEP DIVE! The Japanese Oni!
Unlike the Western devil, the Oni doesn’t want your soul. No bargain, no temptation, no test of virtue. It wants to eat your body. Devil’s Details steps outside the Judeo-Christian house for a demon deep dive.
“This is the End.” “Wow.”: The Chronicle of Young Satan, Chapter 11 • The Devil According to Mark Twain
Twain’s Chronicle cuts off mid-magic trick in India. The famous ending—nothing exists, you are but a vagrant thought—is Paine’s theft. We read it anyway. It still lands.
Law & Order & Satan: The Chronicle of Young Satan, Chapter 10 • The Devil According to Mark Twain
Father Peter wins his trial and loses his mind—Satan’s parting gift. Then Satan explains why laughter can topple empires and humanity refuses to use it. Chronicle Ch. 10.