Slaying the DRAGON
Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles from the Co-Parenting Dilemmas podcast join Seth and Pete today to teach us how parents can reframe conflict. Diane is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as the executive director of the Center for Navigating Family Change, a non-profit that provides court-ordered parenting education and co-parenting services to the state of Georgia. Rick is CEO of the Center for Dispute Solutions, as well as a certified business coach, an anger management specialist and a professional mediator. Together, they are co-authors of “I Am NON-Impossible: A 12-Week Journey to Co-Parenting Peace” and co-hosts of the podcast Co-Parent Dilemmas now it its third season.
Diane and Rick talk about their acronym, the DRAGON, and how divorced parents struggling with conflict can use it to cut back those challenges. The acronym?
- D – Describe the dilemma. What’s going on between you?
- R – Reframe it. Consider alternate reasons it may be happening.
- A – Anxiety. What’s driving your fear? What are you afraid is going to happen if something doesn’t change?
- G – Goal. For myself and (primarily) for my child in the conflict.
- O – Opportunities. Formulate a plan to accomplish the goal for my child and meet their needs regardless of what the other parent does.
- N – Negotiate. Discuss how to meet in the middle.
Seth calls these workarounds, but however you work through it, the point is that you’re working to eliminate those conflicts and do what’s best for the kids. We also talk about setting up a structured email protocol to assist in keeping communication structured. This allows parents to live separately while parenting parallel.
Remember, it’s not divorce but conflict that hurts the child. Yet far too many divorced parents are mired in conflict. Use these tips to help get through it so you can have healthy divorce boundaries.
