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How to Split a Toaster episode 716

HSPs: Navigating Divorce When You’re a Highly Sensitive Person with Chris Lyon

Dealing With Divorce When You’re a Highly Sensitive Person

Nearly 30% of us are highly sensitive people – or HSPs – and if you count yourself in that group, it makes divorce a materially different experience. Today on the show, we welcome Chris Lyon, a relationship author and facilitator. She is a coach, board certified hypnotist, certified in Applied Neuroscience and Brain Health and she’s been helping people with relationships with themselves and others in her practice for 23 years. Chris talks with us about the challenges of going through a divorce when you’re an HSP.

Chris explains what HSPs are and why it’s valuable for everyone to understand what it means to be one. The divorce process can be particularly challenging for HSPs, who tend to internalize and look at everything through only their perspective. She says it’s a process of learning to move out of internal focus and into external focus – which could help before, during, and after divorce. That external focus could be shifted even by moving the conversation out of emotional thinking and into logical thinking, ie. focusing on the math side of things for a while. This helps get them out of their fear center.

Chris talks about the importance of empathy with HSPs, which can be hard to come by, particularly when rejection is distorting their view. How do you find that empathy then? It can be a challenge, but it can take the HSP out of crisis immediately.

We talk a bit about the difference between sympathy and cognitive empathy, or learning to understand what your ex wants. We also talk about why being defensive is the weakest position, and why therapy can be an incredibly valuable tool to help get through this difficult time.

It’s a wide-ranging conversation full of great information for everyone – not just HSPs. Tune in!

Links & Notes

Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. In How to Split a Toaster, Nelson and co-host Pete Wright take on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving your most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself.
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