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It's All Your Fault episode 135

On Being a Megaphone: Should You Tell the Judge, Boss, HR, or Others That the other Person is High Conflict?

To tell or not to tell. That is a question on the minds of many who deal with high conflict situations. In a court situation, is it is a good idea to tell the judge that the other person is high conflict or has a personality disorder, whether diagnosed or suspected? The same goes in the workplace. Should HR be told? And the same question applies in any setting, such as the education environment, in mediation or even in families.

It’s tempting to want to tell everyone what you suspect you’re dealing with, but will it help or hurt your case or situation? Will it backfire?

Megan and Bill answer this vital question in this week’s episode. It’s a big issue that can impact outcomes whether in a legal case, in your job or in your family.

Links & Other Notes



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Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
  • (01:41) – To Tell or Not to Tell
  • (05:44) – What About Formal Diagnoses?
  • (08:08) – Concerning Patterns of Behavior
  • (14:02) – What About Therapists and Lawyers?
  • (18:11) – What About When Not Divorcing?
  • (20:07) – How to Deal With It When You’re the One Who’s Told
  • (27:19) – What If It’s Your Family Member?
  • (34:16) – Reminders & Coming Next Week: Amanda Ripley

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.