Dilemmas & Decisions: Why It’s So Hard to Stop Yourself from Over-reacting in High-Conflict Situations

Stopping yourself in a high-conflict situation doesn’t come naturally for most. We get frustrated when things escalate quickly and wonder why we took the bait once again. Of course, the brain is involved so it comes down to unconscious reactions, but can they be overcome? Can we get emotionally unhooked?

In this episode, Bill and Megan discuss:

• the dilemmas that come from people with high conflict personalities, instead of solutions
• why we get hooked by their dilemmas — the brain interactions
• how to override our defaults when they happen on the spot
• why we need to stop and use a Dilemmas & Decisions list before diving in with our natural defaults when we have time to think
• Doing Instead of Stewing

Links & Other Notes

• BOOKS
  • It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything (see Chapter 9: Analyze Your Realistic Options)
• COURSE
  • Are You Talking to the Wrong Brain?
  • Who Are High Conflict People?
• ARTICLES
  • HCPs and Violence
  • HCPs, Loss and Violence

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

• (00:00) – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
• (00:36) – Why Do We Keep Reacting?
• (01:18) – Overriding Defaults
• (05:51) – Building the Neuron Connections
• (09:22) – Dilemma and Decision List
• (20:23) – Reminders & Coming Next Week: Confirmation Bias