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Fault 218

Telling a High Conflict Spouse That You Want a Divorce

One of the hardest decisions when divorcing a high-conflict spouse is how and when to tell that person that you want a divorce. How will the person react? Will I be in danger? Will my life become a worse hell?

In this episode, Megan and Bill discuss this extremely relevant and important topic, starting with a question from a listener. They will discuss:

  • What should you do if your partner doesn’t know yet that you want a divorce? 
  • How should you tell that person? 
  • How should you prepare?
  • What should you say? Where should you say it?
  • Should you have someone with me?
  • Is it okay to stay at home after delivering the news?
  • What to be aware of going forward.
  • Should the kids be told in advance? Or when do I tell them?
  • Should the kid’s school be notified?

Links & Other Notes

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
  • (01:17) – Telling an HCP You Want a Divorce
  • (03:02) – Start With Preparing
  • (07:32) – So Many Things to Think About
  • (10:06) – What You’ll Say and Where
  • (16:29) – Should I Have Someone With Me?
  • (18:02) – Should I Go Home Afterward?
  • (19:22) – Going Forward
  • (21:56) – When to Tell the Children
  • (25:11) – Telling the School
  • (26:44) – Wrapping Up
  • (28:26) – Reminders & Coming Next Week: Family Law in Israel with Guest Michal Fein

Further Listening

Each week, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter will be exploring the five types of people who can ruin your life — people with high conflict personalities — and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill Zoom
Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.

Bill Zoom

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.