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It's All Your Fault episode 217

Getting it Backwards in Family Court—Winners & Losers

Sometimes professionals in the legal system get it backwards. It’s frustrating and leaves people feeling helpless. Why can’t the judge see what the other party is doing? Why is my ex’s lawyer painting him/her out to be a hero, convincing everyone in the courtroom that I’m the bad parent?

Do professionals get it backwards and believe the wrong person sometimes?

Bill and Megan discuss this important topic, including:

  • is this a high conflict issue
  • what is a persuasive blamer
  • can persuasive blamers influence the court’s decisions
  • do persuasive blamers honestly believe the false statements they make or that they are victims
  • cognitive distortions that lead to persuasive blaming
  • do they have personality disorders
  • why professionals believe persuasive blamers—can professionals get emotionally hooked
  • examples: domestic violence, alienation, emotionally too intense
  • how to overcome this in court—what can parents do
  • what can professionals do

Links & Other Notes

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Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
  • (01:32) – Family Court – Getting It Backwards
  • (05:29) – Why do HCPs do this?
  • (08:52) – Why are they believed?
  • (12:30) – Examples
  • (16:53) – How to Overcome
  • (18:12) – Three Theories
  • (21:56) – Tips to Help
  • (25:39) – Reminders & Coming Next Week: Telling a High Conflict Spouse You Want a Divorce

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.