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It's All Your Fault episode 217

Getting it Backwards in Family Court—Winners & Losers

Sometimes professionals in the legal system get it backwards. It’s frustrating and leaves people feeling helpless. Why can’t the judge see what the other party is doing? Why is my ex’s lawyer painting him/her out to be a hero, convincing everyone in the courtroom that I’m the bad parent?

Do professionals get it backwards and believe the wrong person sometimes?

Bill and Megan discuss this important topic, including:

  • is this a high conflict issue
  • what is a persuasive blamer
  • can persuasive blamers influence the court’s decisions
  • do persuasive blamers honestly believe the false statements they make or that they are victims
  • cognitive distortions that lead to persuasive blaming
  • do they have personality disorders
  • why professionals believe persuasive blamers—can professionals get emotionally hooked
  • examples: domestic violence, alienation, emotionally too intense
  • how to overcome this in court—what can parents do
  • what can professionals do

Links & Other Notes

Our website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

Submit a Question for Bill and Megan

All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.

You can also find these show notes at our site as well.

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
  • (01:32) – Family Court – Getting It Backwards
  • (05:29) – Why do HCPs do this?
  • (08:52) – Why are they believed?
  • (12:30) – Examples
  • (16:53) – How to Overcome
  • (18:12) – Three Theories
  • (21:56) – Tips to Help
  • (25:39) – Reminders & Coming Next Week: Telling a High Conflict Spouse You Want a Divorce

Further Listening

Each week, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter will be exploring the five types of people who can ruin your life — people with high conflict personalities — and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill Zoom
Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.

Bill Zoom

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.