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It's All Your Fault episode 223

Why Connection Is So Important in High Conflict Interactions

One of the cornerstones of successful management of high conflict interactions is connection. In fact, it is the “C” in the CARS Method®—a set of principles for managing high conflict disputes and interactions.

In today’s episode, Megan and Bill talk about this exceedingly important principle of connection, including:

  • why connection is foundational to successful interactions with high conflict people
  • the brain’s request for connection
  • why it is so difficult to remember to connect before problem-solving
  • the impact of connecting—using EAR Statements
  • whether connection and EAR Statements can be over-used


Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

  • (00:00) – Welcome to It’s All Your Fault
  • (01:21) – Intro to Connection
  • (02:22) – Foundational to Successful Interactions
  • (04:14) – Connection vs. Isolation
  • (05:17) – Connecting with an HCP
  • (08:18) – How the Brain’s Involved
  • (13:44) – Hostility Bias
  • (15:00) – Misreading Cues
  • (17:56) – Difference in Cultures
  • (19:37) – Remember to Connect First
  • (24:36) – EAR Statements
  • (26:44) – Can You Overdo It?
  • (29:53) – Wrap Up
  • (30:24) – Reminders

Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.