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It's All Your Fault episode 239

Apology Quicksand

It’s not unusual that high conflict people demand an apology from a reasonable person who has attempted to set limits on them, such as a supervisor in a workplace dispute or someone in a neighbor dispute.

While apologies resolve many disputes between reasonable people, they are a much different matter with HCPs and usually need to be avoided. However, don’t be surprised that high conflict people frequently will demand an apology from another party, at times saying that they cannot move forward without such an apology. Sometimes a reasonable person will demand an apology from a high conflict person because of their extreme behavior, also saying that they can’t move forward without it. Many relationships (and mediations) bog down here in the apology quicksand.

Bill and Megan discuss this apology quicksand – how we get there, how to avoid it, and what to do if someone’s demanding an apology from you.

Links & Other Notes

Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.

Further Listening

Each week, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter will be exploring the five types of people who can ruin your life — people with high conflict personalities — and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Bill Zoom
Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.

Bill Zoom

Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Bill Eddy is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is viewed globally as the leading expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities.

Megan Zoom

Megan Hunter, MBA

Megan Hunter is HCI’s co-founder and Chief Executive Officer. Within her role at HCI, she also serves as a leading expert in high conflict personalities in all settings, focusing primarily on the workplace, customer service, government/public service, ombuds, and religious organizations. Her degrees in business and economics combined with her years of experience in the legal arena are a valuable blend for many conflict settings.