When the Workplace Becomes a Battleground
HCI senior trainer Michael Lomax joins Megan Hunter for a conversation that leaders, HR professionals, and anyone navigating a difficult workplace will want to hear. Michael brings over twenty-five years of experience in workplace dispute resolution across Canada, the US, and Australia—and he doesn’t sugarcoat what he’s seeing right now.
Workplace conflict has always existed. But what’s happening today feels different—and it is.
Understanding High Conflict Behavior at Work
Not all workplace conflict is created equal. Disagreements and hurt feelings are a normal part of any team. High conflict behavior is something else entirely—it follows predictable patterns, targets specific people, resists resolution, and tends to escalate the harder you push back. For leaders and HR professionals trying to help, it can feel deeply personal. That’s not a coincidence.
Michael and Megan break down what’s driving the rise in workplace conflict, what’s happening in a leader’s brain when they get pulled in, and what actually works when your usual tools don’t.
Questions We Answer in This Episode
- What does high conflict behavior look like at work, and how is it different from normal disagreement?
- Why is emotional reactivity in the workplace increasing globally?
- What happens in a leader’s brain when they get hooked?
- How can leaders regulate themselves before responding?
- How do you shift someone from emotional reactivity into problem solving?
- How should a leader respond when one inflammatory email sets the whole team on fire?
Key Takeaways
- High conflict behavior follows four predictable patterns—all or nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, extreme behaviors, and a preoccupation with blame.
- Global stress, unresolved pandemic-era trauma, and social media outrage culture are all fueling the rise in workplace high conflict behavior.
- High conflict behavior is almost designed to hook the people trying to help—self-blame is common for leaders, and inaccurate.
- Regulate yourself first: check whether your reactive brain has taken over, use encouraging self-talk, and remind yourself the other person’s behavior is not about you.
- The “calm before think” strategy—connecting and de-escalating before moving to problem solving—works better than skipping straight to solutions.
- When a hostile email ignites team-wide conflict, respond quickly, hold individual one-to-ones, and assess whether the behavior is a pattern before addressing it with the sender.
- When the problematic person is a senior leader rewarded for abrasive behavior, one conversation won’t fix it—structured, ongoing coaching is required.
- Writing out your options and eliminating anything driven by strong emotion or all or nothing thinking is a concrete tool for finding the most effective response.
Whether you’re a leader dealing with a high conflict employee, an HR professional being pulled into an escalating situation, or someone trying to understand why your workplace feels harder than it used to—this episode gives you language, tools, and perspective you can use immediately.
About Our Guest: Michael Lomax
Michael Lomax is a senior trainer with the High Conflict Institute and co-author of Mediating High Conflict Disputes with Bill Eddy. Based on Vancouver Island, Canada, Michael has spent over twenty-five years working in workplace dispute resolution, helping leaders, organizations, and union representatives navigate high conflict dynamics. He is the lead trainer for HCI’s workplace leadership programs and the New Ways for Work for Coaches training.
Professional Development
- New Ways for Work Training for Workplace Coaches — March 3 & 5, 2026
- Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026
Expert Publications
- BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter
- Mediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax
- It’s All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefano
Connect With Us
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Important Notice
Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.
