Mandy Kaplan
Hello, everybody, and welcome to Make Me a Nerd. I’m Mandy Kaplan, a mainstream mom whose mission it is to explore the world of nerd culture, one sci-fi adventure or romantic at a time. All of that genre stuff is stuff I have avoided and been afraid of. Right now I’m reading a lot of manga. I’m diving in. I’m really trying it all. But Goonies is not something I was afraid of, because I am a human being with a heart and a soul. So Goonies is something I saw as a kid and loved. I have loved it my whole life. But I called upon one of my favorite people in the world, and everybody’s favorite guest, Krissy Lenz, to come join me and talk Goonies, because my heart needed it this week. Krissy, how are you?
Krissy Lenz
I’m so good. I’m so happy to be here, and I’m so excited to talk about Goonies. It is one of my favorite movies of all time. My kids love it. It really truly holds up.
Mandy Kaplan
Beautifully. Your kids are better than mine, because I think Casey now has seen it and he’s like, “Yeah, it’s cute.” But I think I’ve told this on the podcast before: we tried it when he was maybe 10, really age-appropriate, and when the body fell out of the freezer, he lost his mind. He was like, “Turn it off, turn it off, what are you doing to me?” So he didn’t really see it again, I think, until he was much older and with friends.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah. Well, it is the charming children’s adventure story that starts with a suicide.
Mandy Kaplan
Right. Well, not a real one.
Krissy Lenz
A fake one, yes. A faked suicide. But you forget that that’s the beginning of the movie, and then when you jump back in, you’re like, “Oh yeah.”
Mandy Kaplan
Totally forgot. So what do you remember seeing it as a kid? I mean, you are a self-proclaimed nerd, and this movie, in my humble opinion, this movie was not for nerds. This was for everyone with a pulse.
Krissy Lenz
I don’t remember a time before seeing Goonies. It came out in 1985, so I would have been five. My grandma used to always take us to the dollar theater to see whatever was playing, so I’m pretty sure I saw it at the dollar theater.
Mandy Kaplan
Go, Grandma.
Krissy Lenz
And we’d sneak in candy from the Walgreens next door and really live it up, live like kings.
Mandy Kaplan
I recently told a story that I snuck a whole large pizza into Mystic Pizza in high school.
Krissy Lenz
Oh, nice.
Mandy Kaplan
Yeah.
Krissy Lenz
That is bold.
Mandy Kaplan
Thank you.
Krissy Lenz
A bold move.
Mandy Kaplan
Thank you. I love coming up with crimes. That’s a whole different topic. I love planning crimes. I don’t execute them, but I love planning them. And this one I actually executed.
Krissy Lenz
Excellent. Yes, that’s very, very good.
Mandy Kaplan
But the statute of limitations has run out, so I’m in the clear.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah.
Mandy Kaplan
How many times do you think you’ve seen Goonies?
Krissy Lenz
Oh, at least fifty. I’ve seen it a lot. I’ve seen it so many times that you forget parts and then you’re like, “Oh yeah.” I remember Data and his slick shoes and the Pinchers of Power and all that stuff. I’ve seen it a bunch when I was a kid, a bunch when I was a teen, a bunch when I was an adult. I’ve taken Rocket, my 15-year-old, to see it several times whenever they do a revival screening at our local Majestic movie theater. I’ll be like, “They’re doing Goonies again. We’re going.” And he’s like, “Okay, Mom.” But I can’t resist it. We go every time.
Mandy Kaplan
It really feels medicinal. And I don’t think I’m overstating. I referenced it—I won’t go into any detail, and I will try not to cry—but I had a very bad week. And when I reached out to you, it was like, what can I do for my mentality and my well-being? And yes, I could easily just put on a good movie and watch a movie, but if I have to come up with talking points about it, it’s a far more engaging time spent for me. There are very few movies that I would have thought of to cure what was ailing me, but this is one of them. It’s just full of hope and joy and humor and adventure. And I love it very deeply. So technically this is not Make Me a Nerd. This is “listen to two ladies nerd out about Goonies.”
Krissy Lenz
My favorite.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay, so the opening jailbreak is so old-timey and charming and Keystone Cops-feeling, but I totally forgot about it.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, it’s always a shock when you’re like, “Wait a minute, this isn’t the kids and the truffle shuffle. This is craziness.” And the music is so good too. It’s all cartoony. He’s pretending to be hanged, and he hung himself by a pipe in his waistband. But he only punches the cop once. Like, he uses both of his hands together and—pop—and the cop just crumples.
Mandy Kaplan
It’s funny to me because there’s no real violence in that, which I love. They pull guns and then they use the gun to start a fire wall instead of to shoot at a person. So I appreciate the lack of real violence and real threat.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, it’s very slapsticky. It’s very vaudevillian in the way that they execute it, and they’re so funny. All the performers in this movie are so, so good. But I always remember Joe Pantoliano just being so silly, and forever in the rest of my life, whenever I’d see him, I’d be like, “Oh, it’s the guy from Goonies.”
Mandy Kaplan
Right. I have a weird crush on him.
Krissy Lenz
Oh really?
Mandy Kaplan
I always did. I thought he was cute. Is that crazy?
Krissy Lenz
Ooh la la.
Mandy Kaplan
It’s weird because he’s Joey Pants. Like he’s not a guy that you pine for.
Krissy Lenz
No, no. Yeah.
Mandy Kaplan
They flee the prison and there’s a police chase. And this is how they introduce all our characters, is what they’re doing during this police chase. And this is flawless character introduction. You immediately know what each kid’s personality is by their tiny introduction.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, it’s so cute. And Chunk when he slams the pizza and the milkshake into the window and it just bursts all over him, and he’s like, “Oh, darn it.” That’s one of my favorite moments. And I’m like, “Oh God, who had to clean that window with pizza and milkshake smashed all over it?” And then Data using his Pinchers of Power to pull a barrel towards him, but then he gets pulled towards the barrel. It’s so good.
Mandy Kaplan
It’s such a clever way to introduce characters rather than showing their yearbook pictures or whatever. And I just thought this was done to perfection. And then I wrote, “Wait a minute, why do I think this is a Spielberg movie?” Because he did not direct this movie.
Krissy Lenz
He did not. It was Richard Donner, right?
Mandy Kaplan
Yep.
Krissy Lenz
But Spielberg was there every day on the set.
Mandy Kaplan
That’s what I want to know about.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah—he had his fingers in all of the pies, making it what it was. There’s a funny story about Josh Brolin trying to be a method actor and saying to Steven Spielberg, “Do you think the cave represents the womb, and by escaping the cave we’re trying to be born again?” And Spielberg was like, “No. Just act. Just do your thing. It’s fine. Don’t worry about all that stuff.” So I think he really put his thumbprint on it.
Mandy Kaplan
And yet this was Josh Brolin’s first movie, right?
Krissy Lenz
Yep, his debut. Baby Josh Brolin.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh, they’re all so perfectly cast and they’re all so charming and they all have star power. It’s exciting. There’s no weak link.
Krissy Lenz
No, there’s really no weak link. And when you see them all as adults now too, you’re just like, “Oh, they’re all still best friends,” and they’re all still so cute and fun. Some of them have gone on to monster success and some of them are realtors now, but it’s just so great that they really made connections that stood the test of time.
Mandy Kaplan
Well, I read that Corey Feldman and Martha Plimpton hated each other on set. And then I watched a little reunion at a con, and sure enough, Corey Feldman was here and then a string of people, and Martha Plimpton was at the other end. And I thought, I wonder if they really don’t like each other.
Krissy Lenz
I think Corey Feldman is an interesting fella.
Mandy Kaplan
Wait, didn’t you have him on your podcast?
Krissy Lenz
We did, yes.
Mandy Kaplan
Let’s sidebar about that. Tell everybody the name of your podcast and how this happened, if that’s okay.
Krissy Lenz
It’s the Most Excellent 80s Movies Podcast, and Corey Feldman’s publicist reached out to us because he had a new movie that came out called Going Viral, and they wanted us to do a little interview with him about Going Viral, but then also tie it into all the 80s movies that we love. So we got to spend about— it was short, it was only about twenty minutes—chatting with him. I was like, “What was your favorite one? What do you think holds up? What other 80s movies do you love?” A bunch of dorky stuff like that. And he was just so dynamic and strange. It’s a funny story: when we first were supposed to have him on, we were using a podcast platform called Zencastr and he couldn’t make it work. So he called me on the phone and he was like, “Hi, this is Corey Feldman. I can’t get into your podcasting app.” And I was like, “Okay, how about Zoom?” So we did it over Zoom instead. And I was just like, “Corey Feldman called me.” That was cool.
Mandy Kaplan
That’s incredible. And did you talk Goonies at all?
Krissy Lenz
He mentioned Goonies as being one of his favorites and that he thinks it still holds up. And I was like, “Absolutely. Goonies totally holds up.” And he said his most underrated favorite movie that he’s done was Dream a Little Dream. Have you seen Dream a Little Dream?
Mandy Kaplan
I think so.
Krissy Lenz
It’s bananas.
Mandy Kaplan
Yeah, okay, maybe not. It’s with Corey Haim and Meredith Salenger, right?
Krissy Lenz
Corey Haim, yes.
Mandy Kaplan
You say it and it’s familiar, but okay.
Krissy Lenz
They smash into each other in a backyard, and the woman gets lost in a dream state, and the old man goes into Corey Feldman’s body. It’s a body-swap movie.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh, then I don’t think I’ve seen this.
Krissy Lenz
It’s worth watching.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay.
Krissy Lenz
It’s no Goonies, but it’s worth watching to be like, “What are they thinking?”
Mandy Kaplan
It scares me a little. Everything you just said scares me a little. I’m not sure why.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, it’s a little scary, but it’s a fun so-bad-it’s-good watch.
Mandy Kaplan
Well, I was so thrilled you got Corey Feldman. I think that’s really freaking cool.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, we loved it. It was such a special thing to get to do.
Mandy Kaplan
Back to something special: The Goonies. Did you know it was inspired by the Oregon coastal legend of the seventeenth-century Spanish galleon that disappeared in 1693, known locally as the Beeswax Wreck?
Krissy Lenz
I did not know that.
Mandy Kaplan
So up in that area—Astoria, Oregon—which one character at the end is like, “I’m in Astoria,” like he pronounces it wrong, which is strange. Troy’s evil father. But yeah, that’s what inspired the idea that there could be a shipwreck in the neighborhood, right out your front door.
Krissy Lenz
I love that. And I love the lore that they go into, and it’s so beautifully explained that his dad works at the museum and so he’s got the rejected pieces from a retrospective that they did up in his attic. And that’s why Mikey knows what they all are, and that’s how they find the map, and that’s why Mikey knows all about One-Eyed Willy. It’s so brilliantly laid out.
Mandy Kaplan
And he’s so good. Sean Astin is so freaking good when he explains all of this. I think a lesser movie would have done it in voiceover, or shown us the history like a little five-minute sequence of One-Eyed Willy, and then it would have been like, “Now in modern times,” and shown the kids on their bikes. But to put it on the shoulders of this 11-year-old actor—or 12, or maybe 14—he was so good at telling that story.
Krissy Lenz
He was so good in this movie, and I love the little recurring bit they have of him saying the words wrong. They’ll say the words wrong and then someone corrects him and he’ll be like, “That’s what I said.” It’s such a good recurring bit. Even Data gets to get in on it: “Booty traps.” “No, I said booby traps.” “I think you mean booby traps.” “Yeah, booty traps.” It’s funny.
Mandy Kaplan
Them up in the attic—Pete, if you could put the picture up—this shot of the four of them with their eyes behind the map as they’re reading it and realizing they’re gonna go on this adventure. Do you know the image I’m talking about?
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, absolutely.
Mandy Kaplan
They just don’t make movies like this anymore. This image says so much. It captures everything. And they linger on this shot for a long time, letting us get into the story with them.
Krissy Lenz
There’s another shot that I love at the very end where they pour the jewels out into the mom’s hand and then they all go and lean over, and it’s a shot from the bottom up at every single one of their faces reacting to the jewels. It’s so good.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh yeah.
Krissy Lenz
It makes me think of what it must have been like on set when he’s like, “Okay, ready? One, two, three, everybody—jewels!”
Mandy Kaplan
I don’t know why I feel like it’s a lost art. Maybe I’m just not watching these movies anymore. Casey’s beyond the age of watching a teen adventure or between adventure. But this one set the bar so high. And I love a lot of them. I was a big Spy Kids fan and Descendants and all those.
Krissy Lenz
Oh, I love Spy Kids.
Mandy Kaplan
But they don’t make ’em like this anymore.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, this is a rare gem that just works on every level, including the fact that they say the S-word over and over and over again nineteen times.
Mandy Kaplan
Nineteen times. Were you drinking every time too?
Krissy Lenz
Yep.
Mandy Kaplan
Just me?
Krissy Lenz
Oh, every time.
Mandy Kaplan
Cool.
Krissy Lenz
It’s a great movie for a drinking game. Every time they say “One-Eyed Willy,” take a drink.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh boy.
Krissy Lenz
You’d be toasty.
Mandy Kaplan
I love the pace of this movie. Twenty-five minutes in, they are still nowhere near the adventure. That’s when they take off on their bikes and Mouth deflates the tires. All he does is twist off the little caps. Brand, get over it. He didn’t pop your tires. He just deflates your tires. Liar. But twenty-five minutes in and it’s just kids talking.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, they’re really not in the cave for very long.
Mandy Kaplan
No, and they’re taking their time and setting up the stakes. They’ve already established the characters. We already care deeply about all of these characters. Mouth—Corey Feldman—is that Mouth, right?
Krissy Lenz
Mouth is a little chaos agent.
Mandy Kaplan
He’s so good at it. And I think he became such a polarizing person. When he was dancing with Michael Jackson and all of that, I lost the reverence that I used to have for him as a kid actor. But he was so good. Just pure talent. And when he’s translating for Rosalita and explaining all the different drugs and where they keep them—apparently Rosalita did all that translating for them, the actress. She speaks English, and then when the film is in Spanish, Rosalita becomes Italian, and they translate so she only speaks Italian, and they change it for her.
Krissy Lenz
Oh, that’s hilarious. I love that.
Mandy Kaplan
Lots of little fun facts.
Krissy Lenz
That is a super fun fact. My favorite line of the whole movie is Corey Feldman as Mouth when they’re down in the wishing well and he’s like, “Well this was my dream, my wish, and it didn’t come true, so I’m taking it back. Taking them all back.” That’s the line for me.
Mandy Kaplan
Right. Yep.
Krissy Lenz
And of course: “Hey you guys!”
Mandy Kaplan
I gotta go with, “It’s our time down here.” Down here, it’s our time. I have a quote here, and it’s not one of these classics, but I couldn’t stop laughing. One of the idiots says, “Then you gotta make it with her and her mom,” right? About Andy not being able to drive and the mom had to drive her. “Well then you gotta make it with her and her mom.” Very 80s ruffian dialogue.
Krissy Lenz
They’re so dumb.
Mandy Kaplan
I have a question for you. What kind of kid were you? Because I was not a Goonie. When I was young, I would have been an Andy and I would have felt out of place with the Goonies, or judged by them. I wouldn’t have judged them—I wasn’t that kind of person—but I would have thought, “Oh, they think I’m just vapid and all I care about is singing and dancing.” Were you a Goonie at heart?
Krissy Lenz
I definitely would love to be a Goonie. I was definitely always a nerd, but I was also a theater kid. So I think I would have been a Mikey who’s like, “Guys, put that down, stop messing with the stuff, we gotta go on this adventure.” I was definitely a Mikey with a little bit of a Mouth streak because I was a sassy young lady. But I wish I dressed like Chunk.
Mandy Kaplan
Mikey with Mouth rising.
Krissy Lenz
Yes, those are my star signs. But I wish I had the style of Chunk. To mix a plaid with a Hawaiian print is next-level thinking.
Mandy Kaplan
Sounds gross. While we’re talking Chunk: actor Jeff Cohen—it’s upsetting how much fat humor there is, and fat shaming. His character is pretty much solely defined by his constant hunger and obsession with junk food and wanting to eat. And it’s upsetting because it really does a disservice to this really talented young actor. Do you think that could fly today in a movie?
Krissy Lenz
Oh no. I think we’re done with fat shaming as a pop culture staple. But it really truly was a staple of 80s movies. I can’t tell you how often we come across it. In The Monster Squad, there’s a character they just call “Fat Kid.” It’s the same trope. You see it over and over and over again. And yeah, no—I think we’re done with that collectively.
Mandy Kaplan
Yeah. I think so, and I think it was one of the last things that was allowed. You couldn’t be racist, you couldn’t make misogynistic jokes, and it just felt like that was the last thing to go, and I’m glad it’s gone. I felt no need for it. Chunk could have just simply been inept, a liar, overemotional, seeking attention—everything Chunk is—without all the jokes about food.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, I agree. And the stuff with the ice cream just grosses me out. When it’s all melty and getting all over their faces, I’m like, “Well…”
Mandy Kaplan
This is where Jeff Cohen gets the Oscar nod for me. When they say, “Tell us everything, kid,” that speech where he’s like, “In third grade, I cheated off…” or whatever he did—he was hilarious. Did he work beyond this? I know what he does now, because I want to talk about that.
Krissy Lenz
Not that I know of. I think this was kind of a one-and-done deal for him. I’ve never researched it, but I know he’s one of the few that did not go on to stardom.
Mandy Kaplan
He did a bunch of acting, but he stopped in 1991. And now Jeff Cohen is a very powerful entertainment lawyer. He did the deal for Ke Huy Quan for Everything Everywhere All at Once. And here come the tears: in his Oscar speech, Ke Huy Quan said, “And to my Goonies forever brother, Jeff Cohen, for making this deal happen for me.”
Krissy Lenz
Oh, I remember that. It’s so beautiful. That was such a good Oscar moment. That whole year was so special.
Mandy Kaplan
The idea that they’re still devoted to each other, helping each other out, and that Jeff Cohen, although he stopped acting, could be part of something so major for his friend. I love it.
Krissy Lenz
I love it too. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.
Mandy Kaplan
This movie does—except it gives a terrible gift to the sound team. They are all talking all at once through the whole movie. How did an editor scrub through this? It’s astounding. That’s the person I want to interview the most, I think. First of all, they’re all yelling. They yell every line through the whole movie, and most of the time it’s on top of each other.
Krissy Lenz
Well, it’s gotta be when you have such a big ensemble cast and they’re all kids. That’s the way kids really talk. They’re always yelling over each other and fighting to be heard amongst the chaos and the din. So it feels really real and relatable in that way. But yeah, what a challenge.
Mandy Kaplan
Allegedly, when they have Chunk’s hand in the blender, you can hear Richard Donner laughing. They couldn’t get it out of the edit. And I also tried to hear—Sean Astin said there’s a moment where he yells, “Come on, Josh,” and they left it in.
Krissy Lenz
Oh yes. I have heard about that.
Mandy Kaplan
Where is that? I haven’t found it. But that had to be because it’s like, well, we recorded them all at once and they can’t all be on separate tracks and you can’t pull it out. Crazy. I’m such a sound nerd.
Krissy Lenz
My daughter is in film school and she is gonna specialize in sound.
Mandy Kaplan
Fantastic.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, so she’s gonna be a sound nerd too.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay. Now they’re in the cave, they’re down below—where I am in the story. But if I’m skipping over anything you’re like, “We have to talk about the Fratelli brothers,” I’m down for any and all of it. But when they see the first skeleton that has decomposed so badly and Data says, “He’s dead for sure.”
Krissy Lenz
And it’s like, yeah, his head just snapped off. He’s one hundred percent a skeleton, Data. Good eyes.
Mandy Kaplan
And this is the point at which I thought, “I wonder what Rotten Tomatoes said about this movie.” Any guesses, Krissy?
Krissy Lenz
My guess would be that it’s certified fresh, that there’s a lot of love for it.
Mandy Kaplan
You’re incorrect. The critics were only 77%, and I want their names and addresses. Cause what the fuck? And the audience was only 90%, which is good, but I thought this was like a 100/100 beloved. How could you say a negative thing about it?
Krissy Lenz
They are wrong.
Mandy Kaplan
Didn’t you see the part where they’re playing the bones and she’s doing her best? And then at the end she comes out and says, “Can I take piano lessons?” And it’s like, well, you’ve been missing for a day and a half—sure, you can take piano lessons.
Krissy Lenz
That’s her mom.
Mandy Kaplan
That’s Carrie Green’s mom. Her real mom, who said yes and then bragged to all her friends that she improvised that line.
Krissy Lenz
“I improvised it. She said something to me, and I said yes.”
Mandy Kaplan
So cute. And when she’s playing the keyboard and she doesn’t know if it’s an A-flat or a B-flat or an A-sharp—but that’s the same note.
Krissy Lenz
Aren’t those the same note?
Mandy Kaplan
There’s my nurdery coming out.
Krissy Lenz
I love the idea of pirates and pirate treasure as a whole. Pirates of the Caribbean and Disneyland and stuff. And the idea that pirates are really committed to their own aesthetic. Like, okay, we’re trapped in this cave. We’re gonna build all these tunnels and we’re gonna set it full of booby traps, but I want it to be beautiful and authentic to who we are. So anytime we can work a skull into the foundation of the things that we’re building, let’s do it. If we’re gonna build a piano, let’s really build it out of bones and make it something special and lovely.
Mandy Kaplan
So how many pirates had to die before they could make the organ, and who was still left to make it?
Krissy Lenz
I know—there’s like three guys being like, “I’m sorry, we need more bones, Jeff.”
Mandy Kaplan
Exactly. “I wanted it to have more than three octaves, so can we take out the first mate and just use his bones?” It’s crazy.
Krissy Lenz
“Is he really doing anything for us right now?”
Mandy Kaplan
They are thorough interior designers.
Krissy Lenz
They’ve got their vibe and they’re sticking with it.
Mandy Kaplan
God love Brand. He is so protective and heroic towards all these kids. And I think in the 80s I would have expected a douchier direction for that character.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, when I was a kid I thought of him as sort of being a bummer. But now I watch it as an adult and I’m like, thank God for Brand.
Mandy Kaplan
There are so many times he’s like, “Quick, we need to escape,” and he ushers each kid before himself, or reaches back to help the little ones. He’s a mensch.
Krissy Lenz
He is. He’s the proto Steve Harrington.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh yeah. How did I not make that connection? Casey and I were just talking about Joe Keery. I wasn’t attracted to him at all ever. I thought he was a really funny-looking guy on Stranger Things. And then I heard him play his music, and now I’m hot for Joe with the D.
Krissy Lenz
He’s great. His music is really, really good.
Mandy Kaplan
Gremlins reference: I was so thrown when they made a Gremlins reference. I had to look it up, but Gremlins had come out just the year prior. To me, I would conflate the two and think they must have come out exactly at the same time.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, Gremlins seems like a much later 80s movie than it is because it’s so dark.
Mandy Kaplan
But like Labyrinth dark?
Krissy Lenz
Darker.
Mandy Kaplan
I love Gremlins and I couldn’t get into Labyrinth.
Krissy Lenz
I love Gremlins too, but have you seen it in a while? Like, have you watched it with your grown-up eyes?
Mandy Kaplan
Not in thirty years.
Krissy Lenz
There’s a lot in it that you skate over as a kid that, when you watch it as a grown-up, you’re like, “Wow, that’s really messed up.”
Mandy Kaplan
Oh, now I know what’s next.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah. Put that on your list. It’s a Christmas movie.
Mandy Kaplan
Was Ke Huy Quan Short Round first and then this, or was this before Short Round?
Krissy Lenz
That’s a great question.
Mandy Kaplan
I remember him in Indiana Jones and I did not think he was very good. So that came first.
Krissy Lenz
Oh really? You didn’t love him?
Mandy Kaplan
He was cute as Short Round. In this, he had real depth. It was a fine performance.
Krissy Lenz
1984, so it was before.
Mandy Kaplan
You’re right. I thought he was very, very good in this movie, and I don’t think I thought that about Indiana Jones.
Krissy Lenz
I loved him as Short Round. I thought he was so funny and cool. “You call him Dr. Jones, doll.” It’s like: yeah, you call him Dr. Jones, doll.
Mandy Kaplan
I don’t remember. I just remember him yelling a lot, and they made it more stereotypical. Data feels like a more well-rounded character.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, and the really sweet moment at the end where his dad also has an invention that falls apart, and then Andy’s like, “Oh, he’s just like his dad.” They’re so sweet together.
Mandy Kaplan
And they kiss. The dad gives him a big kiss. I loved it. Okay, while we’re in an emotional place, I’m gonna see if I can make you cry. You ready?
Krissy Lenz
Okay, yes.
Mandy Kaplan
Fun fact, Pete: though they were divorcing at the time, Patty Duke says she and John Astin held hands and sobbed through the entire film when they saw it for the first time. Did you know that?
Krissy Lenz
I did know that, and I love it so much. Watching this as a parent and seeing how vulnerable Mikey is, and how sweet he is. And that scene where he’s like, “Oh, how long were you guys standing there?” And Brand’s like, “Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.” It’s just so good. And all these little asides like, “We’re coming, One-Eyed Willy. We’re on your tail now.” So good.
Mandy Kaplan
It’s such a beautiful performance and such a beautiful movie, and the idea that it brought this divorcing couple together out of sheer love of their son. Because I gotta tell you, Krissy, between you and me, my parents wouldn’t have held hands for any reason after they separated. There was nothing that would have made them push aside their differences for two hours, or a minute.
Krissy Lenz
Beautiful.
Mandy Kaplan
So we’re at One-Eyed Willy and we see a lot of him. And his teeth are so huge. Is that what all our teeth would look like without our gums? Is that what it is?
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, your outside bones.
Mandy Kaplan
Those teeth are terrifying.
Krissy Lenz
And for a pirate, he sure had a lot of them.
Mandy Kaplan
Right. They did not have toothpaste. No fluoride.
Krissy Lenz
And famously, scurvy makes your teeth fall out. I figure all pirates have scurvy at one point or another.
Mandy Kaplan
Did he have scurvy? I don’t know what scurvy is.
Krissy Lenz
Scurvy is a disease that’s associated with pirates, and you get it if you spend too much time in the dark without sunlight and you don’t get enough vitamin C.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay. Make Me a Nerd about scurvy.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, scurvy. I always worry that I’m gonna get scurvy because I don’t eat fruits or vegetables. So I have a phobia. I want to get hypnotized one day so I can start eating fruits and vegetables. But I’m always just like, scurvy is around the corner for me.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh yes—do it. Get hypnotized.
Krissy Lenz
I want to. I don’t know what the first step is. Do I just Google “hypnotist”?
Mandy Kaplan
Like hypnotherapists, yeah. You want a hypnotherapist.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, I don’t want a carnival guy who’s gonna make me cluck like a chicken.
Mandy Kaplan
I mean, I want both for you.
Krissy Lenz
If I can get both, I’ll get both. If it can be funny as well as useful, then that’s my vibe.
Mandy Kaplan
I want updates. I didn’t know that about you.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah. It’s a terrible thing.
Mandy Kaplan
No fruits and vegetables. People want to grill you about this, right, all the time?
Krissy Lenz
Yeah. It’s a phobia from when I was a kid and my mom tried to force me to eat fruits and vegetables, and I just slammed down in my brain and was like, “Oh, you want me to eat this? Well I’m never going to eat it in my entire life. How do you like them apples? Because I’m not gonna eat apples.” And I don’t.
Mandy Kaplan
Wow.
Krissy Lenz
Now it’s my therapy session.
Mandy Kaplan
Yes! Reverse therapy. Okay, let’s talk about Sloth, because we haven’t yet.
Krissy Lenz
Sloth loves Chunk. Sloth is so good. He’s so funny and so sweet, and the part at the end where he holds up the boulder so they can all crawl between his legs. And then Chunk comes out and is like, “You’ll be crushed.” He’s like, “Sloth loves Chunk.” “I love you too, buddy.” And when he says—what does he say? “Ma, you’ve been bad,” when she’s—
Mandy Kaplan
Wait, Sloth says that? Oh, yeah. To Anne Ramsey.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah.
Mandy Kaplan
Which is also the name of the woman who plays Lisa on Mad About You, I believe. So I’m always confused because I think they’re both named Anne Ramsey, and it’s spelled the same way. How did the union let them do that? Way back in my 20s, I went to join SAG, and I was so excited, and I had my checkbook because you have to give them a hell of a lot of money just for the privilege of joining the union. And I thought, I hope they say, “Oh, the name Amanda Kaplan has already been taken. You have to go with something else.” Because I was going to just say Amanda Spielberg and just see where it got me. Unfortunately, they said, “Nope, we don’t have one. You’re good.” And I am forever Mandy Kaplan for that.
Krissy Lenz
And all your plans were dashed.
Mandy Kaplan
I don’t benefit from nepotism at all. Hate my stupid family. But where did Sloth get the pirate hat at the end? Like, he comes in with a new outfit and props. Costume pieces and props. Is this not based on a true story?
Krissy Lenz
That’s a really good question. Doesn’t he steal it from a pirate on the pirate ship? Could that be where he gets it?
Mandy Kaplan
Maybe, but it looks brand spanking new and he’s wearing a Superman shirt. I just feel like he had a big renaissance, a glow-up. A Sloth glow-up.
Krissy Lenz
He just needed someone to believe in him.
Mandy Kaplan
Don’t we all deserve a Chunk? And then at the end, Chunk’s like, “You’re gonna come live with us.” That does not feel so reasonable.
Krissy Lenz
I know. I just imagine his mom being like, “Wait, what? You want this adult man to come live with us?”
Mandy Kaplan
And while we’re talking parenting of the time: when Andy and Brand are kissing, and Brand’s mom says, “Oh, let her mother worry about it.” That’s not okay. We should not be saying things like that. That’s terrible.
Krissy Lenz
That’s not okay.
Mandy Kaplan
They’re out. Everybody’s happy. How long does it take to sign your name, Irving?
Krissy Lenz
So long. It’s like: no, no pen, no paper, no sign, no sign, no sign—then they just grab it.
Mandy Kaplan
But it’s even before then. He’s like, “All right, I’ll sign your darn paper.” And he takes it and he puts the pen down. And then it’s, I would say, a solid 75, 80 seconds before he tears up the paper.
Krissy Lenz
He’s got a really elaborate signature. He’s gotta be really beautiful about it. And it’s hard because he’s signing on someone’s back. But you gotta love the nerve of Troy’s father to just be like, “Okay, you found your missing children. Now sign this piece of paper.”
Mandy Kaplan
Right. Oh, Troy—isn’t Troy one of the rapists from The Accused, that actor?
Krissy Lenz
Oh no, is he?
Mandy Kaplan
I believe so.
Krissy Lenz
He’s got a very punchable face.
Mandy Kaplan
I know that face. I can’t imagine he ever played a really nice guy, like a loving father.
Krissy Lenz
I love the part where they’re banging on the pipes. There’s two really fun moments when they’re banging on the pipes. The first is when Troy gets slammed up into the ceiling and then falls down on the ground and goes, “Daddy.” How embarrassing for you, Troy. But there’s also when they’re showing the showers at the country club and there’s a guy in there with an eye patch. I was like, you shower with your eye patch on? I never noticed it before, and I noticed it this time.
Mandy Kaplan
That’s weird. I didn’t even clock that.
Krissy Lenz
He’s there. Blink and you miss it.
Mandy Kaplan
It’s a nod to One-Eyed Willy. And then we’re at the very, very end and they say, “So kids, what happened?” And Data says, “Do you remember about the octopus?”
Krissy Lenz
About the octopus.
Mandy Kaplan
Why the hell did they leave that in when they cut the scene with the octopus?
Krissy Lenz
I truly don’t know, but when they showed it on TV, the octopus scene would be there.
Mandy Kaplan
Weird.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah.
Mandy Kaplan
And what is the octopus scene?
Krissy Lenz
It’s just a fight with an octopus.
Mandy Kaplan
You say that like it’s normal.
Krissy Lenz
An octopus pops out and they have a little fight with it. I’m pretty sure you can still see it on YouTube. When they put it on TV, the octopus fight would be in there. So maybe that’s why they left it in. Or maybe, like we were saying before, the sound guy was just like, “Well, this octopus line is staying in because everyone’s talking at the same time.”
Mandy Kaplan
I was looking out for it because I had read about it. I think maybe there was also the idea that these kids—everything they’re saying sounds completely unbelievable. So why not just leave in the octopus line? But it’s strange. Chunk might say it because he’s a liar, but Data says it and he’s not a liar.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah.
Mandy Kaplan
I don’t know.
Krissy Lenz
But then the sailboat comes out and it’s like, oh, they were there. It’s all true.
Mandy Kaplan
Well, the jewels are an indicator that perhaps this is true.
Krissy Lenz
It’s true. What if they just cut too close on the ship and the octopus is driving the—
Mandy Kaplan
That would be fantastic.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah.
Mandy Kaplan
Did we get to all your favorite parts? Are there moments I missed? We were very quick. I get that.
Krissy Lenz
A couple things. One: when she kisses Mikey and Martha Plimpton is like, “So tell me all about it.” It’s like, you guys are being weird. “I think Brand was standing in a hole. Did he always have braces?” I get so much secondhand embarrassment from that part. It makes me cringe. And then at the very end where Mikey’s shaking his inhaler and he’s gonna take a puff and he goes, “Who needs it?” And it’s like, you do. You did not cure your asthma.
Mandy Kaplan
You do.
Krissy Lenz
You did not cure your asthma. That implies asthma is only a weakness that nervous kids have rather than an actual medical condition.
Mandy Kaplan
Yeah.
Krissy Lenz
Like, “Oh, I found treasure, I no longer have bronchial issues.” It’s like, no. You still need your inhaler, bud. Don’t throw that away, please.
Mandy Kaplan
That’s a strange point to make. When Martha Plimpton still needs her glasses because she makes a point of saying, “I lost my glasses.”
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, she’s not somehow changed.
Mandy Kaplan
“I’m cute. I’m not weak anymore. I don’t need glasses.” Oh, the Goonies. They’re good enough.
Krissy Lenz
For you, good enough.
Mandy Kaplan
I knew I could get you to sing.
Krissy Lenz
For me, it’s good enough. I love Cyndi Lauper and I love that song so much.
Mandy Kaplan
So much. I remember it, but I didn’t remember that it was in the movie and that I guess they made a twelve-minute video for it. The story of the Goonies video.
Krissy Lenz
Yep.
Mandy Kaplan
She can do no wrong. I love Cyndi Lauper. Oh, except I don’t like Kinky Boots, so she can do wrong.
Krissy Lenz
I’ve never seen Kinky Boots, so I don’t know if I love it a lot or not.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay. Well, I have a little trivia—some Goonies trivia. You’ve already answered several of them correctly, so this is going to be easy breezy. We’re gonna end the episode with my trivia questions, but first I’m gonna tell everybody that Make Me a Nerd is a production of TruStory FM, engineering by the peerless Pete Wright. My theme song is Wonderstruck by Jane and the Boy. And I need to keep this journey going. So if you will all be so kind as to hop onto Apple Podcasts and leave a review—comment, ask questions, suggest what I should take in next. I’m open to it all, and that helps more people find it. And if you’re feeling really supportive, please go to https://makemeanerd.com/join. Hitting that button will get you your episodes ad-free and early, and my eternal gratitude. Krissy Lenz, where can everybody find you?
Krissy Lenz
Also on TruStory FM. Yes—please look for the Most Excellent 80s Movies Podcast, as well as Gank That Drank, a supernatural drinking game. Live Free or Twihard features the amazing Mandy Kaplan. So hop on that episode right now and drink along with us.
Mandy Kaplan
So much fun.
Krissy Lenz
So much fun, and we love it. And this upcoming season is going to be the final season of Gank That Drank. So get on board with us so that we can ride this thing into the sunset, baby.
Mandy Kaplan
But then is there another series you can do?
Krissy Lenz
We’re debating. We’re looking— I’m looking at Buffy. Possibly The X-Files. We haven’t decided yet, but there will definitely be a follow-up to Gank That Drank.
Mandy Kaplan
I support it all.
Krissy Lenz
There’s gotta be more drinking game podcasts in the world.
Mandy Kaplan
Good. Yes, it’s just so much fun and you get to rehash great TV whilst also getting tipsy and having fun. I had a blast doing it. So thank you for letting me do that, letting me force my way on there.
Krissy Lenz
Oh, we loved it.
Mandy Kaplan
Well, I’m down to come back. I’m such a podcast whore. Any podcast, anytime. So you have already answered some of these, but I pulled just a few trivia questions and I didn’t want to get down to the nitty-gritty of what’s on the wall behind his head in that split second. That’s not fun to me. So these are pretty basic. Here we go. What dots the “i” in Goonies on the title screen?
Krissy Lenz
A skull.
Mandy Kaplan
What is Mouth’s real name?
Krissy Lenz
Let’s see. Chunk’s name is Lawrence. Mouth’s name is Clark.
Mandy Kaplan
Yes. Yes, I thought I had you. What does Jake Fratelli’s prison note call the cop?
Krissy Lenz
Oh, you bone— is it bonehead?
Mandy Kaplan
It is not.
Krissy Lenz
No, I don’t know that one.
Mandy Kaplan
It is the Yiddish word for bonehead: schmuck. Which is strange from Fratelli. What is the make and model of the Fratellis’ ORV?
Krissy Lenz
Oh, I don’t know, but Chunk says it a bunch of times, right? So I should know.
Mandy Kaplan
With bullet holes.
Krissy Lenz
With bullet holes the size of mozz balls. Nope, don’t know that one.
Mandy Kaplan
Jeep Cherokee. You already answered this: what is the name of Chunk’s dance?
Krissy Lenz
The Truffle Shuffle.
Mandy Kaplan
Yes. What color is Brand’s bandana?
Krissy Lenz
It’s red.
Mandy Kaplan
It sure is. What’s the name of the local paper?
Krissy Lenz
Oh man, they show it for so long too. The Astoria Insider?
Mandy Kaplan
The Astoria Ledger.
Krissy Lenz
Ledger. 1883.
Mandy Kaplan
And lastly: what is the year on the map and the doubloon? 1632.
Krissy Lenz
Oh man.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh, Krissy, ending on a low note.
Krissy Lenz
Yep, I failed. It’s because I have scurvy.
Mandy Kaplan
You really— I can’t imagine you don’t.
Krissy Lenz
Yeah, I definitely do.
Mandy Kaplan
Oh my gosh. Okay, we’ll do medical updates on future episodes. Thank you so, so much for being here. I adore you. I needed this. You light up my life, and I’m so grateful that you did this.
Krissy Lenz
I’m so grateful that you invited me. What a treat to get to do this with you. I will come on and talk about anything with you anytime.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay, so let’s just press stop and then record again and we’ll start talking about a different 80s movie.
Krissy Lenz
Okay, perfect.
Mandy Kaplan
Okay.
Krissy Lenz
I’ve seen them all.
Mandy Kaplan
Thank you everyone for listening. Check out Krissy on the Most Excellent 80s Movies Podcast and Gank That Drank. And until next time.
