Kyle Olson

There are three rules for using a microphone. You only need the first two. Let’s review. Also, we explore masculine vulnerability in an act of trust between robopals. We explore some incredible graphics work in the HUDs from a long lost animation company, which is great, until the drones wake up and we realize that mass casualties can be a distraction from pretty pixels. Turn up the volume on this minute because the sound design is extraordinary!

Political faux pas! Rob breaks out his political history to catalog a connection between IM2 and the 2004 Democratic National Convention. Then, Rhodey is in the War Machine! We have some digression on Expo Security, a confused audience, and then — WHAT? — it’s the MARK VI ARMOR! That’s right, in the space of 60 seconds we are introduced to TWO armors we haven’t seen before. Cue the swoon.

Army. Navy. Air Force. Marines. Yeah, you remember the old commercial, don’t you? Regardless, we get to see the drones and they’re amazing. And they don’t look like battle droids. Anchors Aweigh plays followed by Into the Wild Blue Yonder. The Halls of Montezuma plays for the Marine drones. But where is Ivan? Is he in the Variable Threat Response Battle Suit?

Justin Hammer continues his speech. Pepper rolls her eyes. ILM has its big suit reveal of the Hammer Drones. We hear the Army Song, which has nothing to do with coconuts as it turns out. Everyone’s impressed with the drones. But where are the drone toys? And Hammer throws in a flourish.

LBDs and AWB. Sam Rockwell’s dancing improv to a 70s song, even if it doesn’t fit his appearance at the Expo. Favreau didn’t want it but the producers and editors did, and he succumbed… and we’re so glad he did! But man, is he lacking situational awareness. But he’s smart when he works to divorce the idea of Iron Man from Tony Stark.

How fast can you trace a phone call? And Tony still needs a mute button? Larry Ellison’s cameo gets its payoff finally. Tony figures out Ivan’s in the Tri State Area. It’s a picture wrap on Irena! But what was the original fate of Ivan’s beloved pet? And Tony’s new element, Starkium, is actually healing him! Huzzah!

Justin wants to get laid. Or is it lei’d? And he’s trying to get his stooges to babysit Ivan, which doesn’t go well. How complicit is the cleaning lady who works at Hammer, by the way? Meanwhile, Tony’s hanging out with DUM-E and U. And Ivan gives him a jingle to tell him he now double cycles. And just what is a trifle anyway?

Sam Rockwell continues to absolutely chew up the screen. Ivan clearly doesn’t care, but we do, very much. We get some great positioning, hubris cementing disaster, and an admission of intellectual ignorance that leads us straight out to the expo.

Irina has a terrible minute. Ivan can make salute. Turns out he can also make a suit in this glorious retcon that exists to justify later minutes. There’s a hallway of significance, and Sam Rockwell begins an exceptional moment of monologue performance.